tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-82331309996932776232024-03-18T04:48:16.300-05:00BillHendricks.netBill Hendrickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04200824393602241927noreply@blogger.comBlogger51125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8233130999693277623.post-74170709696031905062015-03-26T17:48:00.000-05:002015-03-26T17:48:53.433-05:00Five Questions to Ask When You Enter Someone’s Story<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px;">
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When we read a novel, most of us begin on p. 1. But when we encounter a person, we’re usually starting in the middle of the story. If we don’t pay attention to that, we’re liable to misread everything.<br />
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In 1935, a Japanese man collecting seaweed came across a bottle that had washed up on the shore. Inside were thin pieces of wood from a coconut tree with a message carved on them. </div>
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<span style="color: black;">The writer identified himself as </span>Chunosuke Matsuyama. He turned out to be a Japanese sailor who, along with 43 companions, had set out on a voyage in 1794 to find buried treasure on a Pacific Island. They shipwrecked on a coral reef. But before Matsuyama died from starvation and dehydration, he composed the message, sealed it in a bottle, and tossed the bottle into the sea.</div>
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<span style="color: #252525;">Ironically, the bottle washed up </span>near the village of Hiraturemura, Japan—the very town where <span style="color: #252525;">Matsuyama had grown up!</span></div>
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That’s a fascinating story. But it only piques one’s curiosity about the rest of the story: Who was Chunosuke Matsuyama? How did he come to be a sailor? Who were his companions? What led them to believe they would find buried treasure? How did they know which island to search? Who hid the treasure? Where did it come from? Does anyone know where the crew shipwrecked? Was Matsuyama the last to survive? Did he have a wife and children? If so, what became of them? Where are the bottle and message today?</div>
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<b>A Message In a Bottle</b></div>
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Whenever we meet someone for the first time, we encounter what amounts to a message in a bottle. There’s the person we meet, along with the circumstances in which we meet them. But there are a thousand—no, ten thousand!—threads in their story that we have yet to discover.</div>
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Of course, a lot of people couldn’t care less about knowing the rest of someone’s story. They want to keep their interaction with the other person at a strictly utilitarian level.</div>
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I can relate to that. When I’m checking out at the grocery store, I mostly want to get in and get out. Yes, I want to be pleasant, courteous, and respectful to the checker. But do I really need/want to know all about her personal life, her children, her ex’s latest run-in with the law, and her mother’s upcoming bunion surgery? Not really.</div>
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But what about a coworker with whom I interact throughout the day, every day, for many days on end? What about the person who lives next door to me, year in and year out? What about the person I know at church, whom I see most every week?</div>
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With people like that, I’m entering into their story on a pretty regular basis. Doesn’t it make sense that I should find out just a little bit more about what that story entails?</div>
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Here are five questions to consider when “reading” the story of another person:</div>
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<b>1. What is my first impression? </b></div>
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As humans, we can’t help but develop initial impressions of people when we first meet them. (Malcolm Gladwell has written an entire book on this phenomenon entitled <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Blink-Power-Thinking-Without/dp/0316010669/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1426633633&sr=8-1&keywords=Blink%3A+The+Power+of+Thinking+Without+Thinking" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;"><b>Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking</b></span></a>.)</div>
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First impressions play a powerful role in shaping our response to others, so we should be aware of them and pay attention to them: How did we experience this person? How did they “seem” to us? What did we feel upon meeting them? What “struck” us about them, as they say?</div>
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Answering questions like these can help us pay better attention to the person we’ve met—as well as pay attention to ourselves and our own reactions.</div>
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So be aware of initial impressions. <b>But also beware of them! </b>Impressions by their nature are subjective. They form our interpretation of another individual. And some people have a gift for reading people. But no matter how perceptive one may be, first impressions are never infallible (which gives rise to the saying: never judge a book by its cover).</div>
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We can never crawl inside someone else’s skin and experience the world exactly as they experience it. And so some portion of our perception is bound to be wrong.</div>
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The only way to correct that is to find out more about the other person’s story.</div>
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<b>2. What came before?</b></div>
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Unless the person you’re meeting is a newborn in a delivery room, you’re coming into their life in the middle of their story.</div>
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My wife, like countless wives everywhere, is addicted to the Masterpiece Theater series, <a href="http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/masterpiece/downtonabbey/" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;"><b>Downton Abbey</b></span></a>. I never paid much attention to it, until halfway through the second season I happened to plop down in the middle of one of the programs and ask her, “What’s this about?”</div>
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All I got was a very annoyed, “SHHHHHHHHH!!”</div>
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That was her way of saying, “Don’t interrupt me! This is way too involved to try and explain it to you right now.”</div>
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But of course, if you don’t know the plot lines and some of the characters and what has already happened in the story, dropping into the middle of Downton Abbey is a pretty confusing, bewildering experience.</div>
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Well, the same is true with a person’s life. If you never bother to consider all that has taken place before you came along, they can seem rather confusing, frustrating, boring, or meaningless.</div>
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Nothing could be further from the truth!</div>
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<b>3. What is this person’s story about?</b></div>
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Stories (good ones, anyway) are always <b>about</b> something. They have a meaning.</div>
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Stories are not just about a plot (“This happened, then this happened, then this happened, etc.”). A plot is a series of events. But the events stack up. And together, as they inform one another, they develop toward an outcome. They end up somewhere. </div>
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It’s in that somewhere that we find what we call <b>meaning</b>. </div>
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That’s the appeal of biographies. We read about a series of things from a person’s life in order to get to know them, to understand what their life was about.</div>
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So for example, we learn that <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abraham_Lincoln" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">Abraham Lincoln’s</span></a> life was about trying to hold a young country together amidst some very powerful forces that were seeking to tear it apart. His life tells us a lot about leadership, courage, and wisdom—as well as sadness.</div>
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Or take <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diana,_Princess_of_Wales" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">Princess Diana</span></a>. A beautiful young maiden weds the Crown Prince of England in what everyone experienced as a storybook wedding. She bears two heirs, but then the marriage falls apart, and the Royal Family marginalizes her. Cast adrift, she finds a new role—and through it a vast new following—as an advocate for the elimination of unexploded land mines in former war zones. Then suddenly her life is cut short in a suspicious car crash in Paris.</div>
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What was Diana’s life about? Youth, beauty, love, royalty, power, rejection, disgrace, renewal, hope, tragedy, intrigue.</div>
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<span style="color: black;">Most of us live lives that are nowhere near as dramatic or iconic as Lincoln and Lady Di. But that doesn’t mean our lives are about nothing. </span><b>Every life matters. Every life counts. Even the life of the unborn child has a message to it. Even the life of a severely compromised child tells us a meaningful story. Even the nameless tale of an unknown worker in an overlooked rice paddy in North Korea is about something.</b></div>
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<b>When you encounter someone else, pay close attention to whatever you can discern regarding what their life is about. To do otherwise is to miss the wisdom of eternity.</b></div>
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<b>4. What is the best thing you could do for this person?</b></div>
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Your life, too, has meaning. You, too, were placed here for a purpose. So be open to offering your gifts to others whom you encounter.</div>
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They may not need your gifts at the moment. But then again, you just may be the answer to their prayers.</div>
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In working with our clients over the years, we’ve learned that one of the subtle but exceedingly powerful lies that lurks in the minds of many people is the belief that “no one will value what I bring to the world.”</div>
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Seriously?! </div>
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Someone will say that “all” they have to offer is the ability to connect with people in a way that makes them feel safe. What a wonderful gift! The sort of gift a counselor or therapist could stand to have.</div>
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Another person thinks that “all” they have to give is a knack for explaining how numbers work. What an invaluable gift! If only every junior high math class in the country were taught by someone with that gift.</div>
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Someone else feels that “all” they seem to be able to do is sit with someone and try to cheer them up, or failing that, to at least “be” with them in their pain. What a deeply meaningful gift! One that will only increase in value as Baby Boomers grow older and begin to need hospice care.</div>
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<b>There are no nobodies in this world. No matter who you are, you have a gift to offer others. </b></div>
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<b>But take note: it’s not a gift until you give it.</b></div>
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And even if the person you encounter doesn’t and never will need the gift you bring, at a bare minimum you can give them respect and attention. Because everyone can benefit from being seen as a person.</div>
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<b>5. What gift does this person offer you?</b></div>
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The flip side of the previous point is that the person you encounter also has a gift to give to the world—including you.</div>
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But here’s the irony: most people either (a) don’t know what their gift is, or (b) don’t think it’s very valuable (see the previous point). What if you were able to help them see it, and also celebrate it?</div>
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That’s easier to do than you may think. All it takes is catching someone in the act of doing something well. I don’t mean just expected, I mean doing it in a way that <b>exceeds</b> expectations. And also doing it in a way that seems to indicate they kind of like what they’re doing.</div>
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Whenever you come across someone like that—someone who is obviously gifted to the task—you have an opportunity to help them see themselves in a whole new way (as well as make their day) by simply saying, <a href="http://www.billhendricks.net/2013/07/five-simple-words-that-can-change_22.html" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">“You’re really gifted at that.”</span></a></div>
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We don’t celebrate enough in this world. Indeed, in the United States we are becoming increasingly cynical and negative. Grumbling and complaining abound. Many of us now <b>expect</b> things to wrong and people to phone in their performance.</div>
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That’s why a simple affirmation of another person’s gift can make such a powerful impact. It strikes a blow for what is good and true and beautiful in someone else’s life.</div>
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And it’s a great way—maybe the best way—to enter someone else’s story!</div>
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<b><i>Question: </i></b>Who is someone you encounter with whom you could practice these five questions?</div>
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<b>NEXT POST ON</b> <span style="color: #35a2f7; font-family: Syncopate;"><b>BillHendricks.net</b></span>: Why “Being Good At It” Is Not Good Enough</div>
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Bill Hendrickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04200824393602241927noreply@blogger.com188tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8233130999693277623.post-83464416727380855642015-03-11T20:54:00.000-05:002015-03-11T20:55:38.730-05:00How About If We Stop Letting Our Children Off the Hook?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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The racist chant of the OU Sigma Alpha Epsilon pledges is disgusting enough. But what should really get our attention is how the parents reacted.</div>
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A guest post by Bev Godby</div>
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<i>I was scheduled to post on a different topic today. But I always reserve the right to interrupt an announced title with a different post in response to late-breaking developments. In this case, the issue of the hour comes from Norman, Oklahoma, home of <a href="http://www.ou.edu/" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">The University of Oklahoma</span></a>. </i></div>
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<i>By now the <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VcYvt3G7zpw" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">video</span></a> of Sigma Alpha Epsilon (SAE) fraternity members and their guests singing a racist song on a bus has gone viral. As soon as he saw it, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_L._Boren" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">OU President David Boren</span></a> (rightly) kicked the SAE chapter off the campus and ordered its members to vacate their fraternity house by the end of the day. </i></div>
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<i>OU also expelled the two students shown on the video as leading the others in song. This morning, <a href="http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2015/03/11/oklahoma-fraternity-racism-investigation/70144844/" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">USA Today</span></a> reported that one of the students, Parker Rice, came forward and apologized for his part in the incident. The publication also said that Brody and Susan Pettit, the parents of the other expelled student, Levi Pettit, offered a public apology.</i></div>
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<i>I have a number of reasons to take more than a casual interest in this story. One of my daughters graduated from OU, so going forward, the taint of racism that is now connected to her alma mater will in some measure boomerang back on her. Fortunately, President Boren exercised decisive, unequivocal leadership, as he always has. That’s important, because an institution’s reputation ought not to be determined by the misbehaviors of those who consume its services, but by how it responds to those who misbehave.</i></div>
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<i>I also feel a connection to the two expelled students. Parker Rice attended Jesuit Prep School in Dallas. I attended St. Mark’s—a perennial rival to Jesuit—so I have a pretty good feel for the students at Jesuit.</i></div>
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<i>Meanwhile, Levi Pettit attended Highland Park High School. For 18 years my family lived in University Park, with the result that all three of my daughters attended HP. I don’t know the Pettit family. But it would take me less than three phone calls to find someone I know who does know them.</i></div>
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<i>With that background, I offer the following post by my colleague and sister, Bev Godby.</i></div>
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I read in the paper this morning about the whole debacle at OU and the SAE chapter. At the top of the page were two apologies. One was by the Jesuit graduate who participated in the obscene, tawdry scene at OU. The other—stunningly and tellingly—was by the parents of the Highland Park student. There they were, publicly falling on their own sword while maintaining unswerving belief in the moral integrity of their son.</div>
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That is a problem!</div>
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Once again, we have parents apologizing for an adult son. Not the son himself standing in the harsh light of public shame. <b>The parents.</b></div>
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If that was my kid who had done that—and at 20 years of age, no less—I would be asking him/her, “So, what are YOU planning to do about this firestorm you created??!”</div>
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And I am imagining that that was more or less the message that the parents of Parker Rice from Jesuit delivered to their son. “Okay, you were leading the song. Now you get to admit the wrong.”</div>
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Yes, the racism of this whole affair utterly nauseates me. And yes, racism IS taught—but not just by someone’s parents. Racism involves a societal tutelage that goes way deeper than what Mommy and Daddy do. We have no idea what Levi Pettit was taught in his home (although <a href="http://abcnews.go.com/US/sigma-alpha-epsilon-parents-frat-member-racist-chant/story?id=29530228" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">his parents claim</span></a> they raised him to be "loving and inclusive"). But how dare any of us reading the headlines presume that his personal upbringing is the whole story, and let ourselves, as part of the surrounding village, off the hook?</div>
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<b>What’s A Parent to Do?</b></div>
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And yet, bad as the racism is, here’s what I find even worse: now that this sick incident has been captured on video and broadcast for the whole country to see, it’s the racism that becomes the cover story—not the abject lack of personal responsibility by one of the offenders.</div>
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Am I the only one who sees a major league problem with a young adult committing that level of offense, and then when it comes time to own up to it, Mom and Dad just take care of it?</div>
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<b>Abandonment of personal responsibility has come to thoroughly pervade our society. It is a huge, toxic sludge that is filtering down into the substrate of our youth, creating a pollution that fouls the formation of their very character.</b></div>
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And please don’t try to play the “Bev, you shouldn’t judge” card. I’m not saying that racism sums up all of who these young men are. Having worked for the past 15 years in identifying the giftedness of young adults, I know full well that there is good, as well as the potential for greater good, in both Parker Rice and Levi Pettit. So I’m not ready to write them off.</div>
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But I’m sorry, we are doing no favors to our next generation if we keep cocooning them from the consequences of their behavior. Mom and Dad Pettit, you seem like well-meaning parents. But push your kid out the door and into the media glare, and make <b>him</b> deal with the problem he has caused. You are saying so much more than you know by trying to put a face on things. And isn't that part of what got us here in the first place?</div>
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<b>With three grown daughters of my own, I can hardly think of a worse situation to find oneself in as a parent. But as an expert in helping young adults leave the nest and assume their place in this world, this is what I have to say to parents whose son or daughter lands themself in a big, rotten mess: get out of the way! Let them fall and bleed and struggle and shed a few tears—and through that find their capacity to persevere. Because if you don't, you are guaranteeing irresponsibility. And that crippling condition will haunt them all their days.</b></div>
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<b>Actually, It IS Who We Are!</b></div>
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And let me point out one other truth-hidden-in-plain-sight about this story. First we had the incident on the bus, which was captured on a smart phone (how could it not be in this day and age?). Then of course the video went viral. So now we have the growing moral outrage that everyone is expressing, captured in the phrase: “This is not who we are!” </div>
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I just hate that! Because it only adds to an us-versus-them mentality, which I think prevents us from being in touch with our own capacity for evil and malice. It allows us to think that this is someone else’s problem, over there. It’s “their” bad. It’s “their” racist behavior. Its “their” biggoted” fraternity/school/community/family/ethnic group/region. I can claim the moral high ground. </div>
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“This is not who we are” is being claimed from the highest levels of our governmental, academic and religious institutions, all the way down to the everyday Joe. In fact, the Pettits used their own version of this claim in apologizing for their son’s behavior: “<span style="color: #323333; letter-spacing: 0.0px;">We. . .know the depth of our son's character. He is a good boy. . . .”</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;">But see, who he was on that day was not good. Like all of us, their boy was both good and bad. And when we fail to allow the full weight of our children’s bad choices to fall on them, we render them incapable of learning the consequences of those choices.</span></div>
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“This is not who we are”? Well, I’m sorry, but apparently this IS who we are, at least in part. This incident—which happened, fittingly enough, on almost the very anniversary of Selma—is revealing something about our moral fabric as a culture that must be everyone’s concern. And we make a huge mistake if we climb up onto a moral perch that puts us at a distance, and we pretend otherwise. </div>
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I realize that the language of that phrase purports to be inspirational, and that when a voice of authority and gravitas intones, “This is not who we are,” the intent is to call us to something higher. Well, I don’t believe it does. I find that it just deepens the divide.</div>
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Are we Americans? If so, then the OU incident forces us to admit a bitterly painful truth: sadly, racism is a very real, metastatic cancer in American society. And it’s not just a certain fraternity/school/community/family/ethnic group/region where it lurks. Sure, some places are completely eaten up with tumors and lesions of prejudice. </div>
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But ALL of us possess at least a few of those cancer cells. And without intentional and regular monitoring—and the courage to accept and exercise personal responsibility—we, too, could do things that are just as twisted and perverted—maybe even worse. Our hearts could be just as dark. It is only as each of us leans into our part in finding life-giving and altering solutions—both personally and societally—that healing will ever prevail.</div>
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Bill Hendrickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04200824393602241927noreply@blogger.com29tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8233130999693277623.post-88520364603276623992015-02-23T11:14:00.000-06:002015-02-23T11:26:54.191-06:00Is It a Calling Or a Whim?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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“If you could do anything you want, what would it be?” That’s a favorite question of career guidance counselors. But it’s a terrible question! It’s as likely to elicit caprice as conviction.</div>
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So how can you tell whether your dream is an impulsive whim or an actual calling?</div>
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At <a href="http://www.thegiftednesscenter.com/" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">The Giftedness Center</span></a>, we never ask someone, “If money were no object, what would you like to do?” That’s because, in truth, most people don’t know the answer to that question. After all, that’s why they’ve come to us. They are looking for help to figure out what their calling is.</div>
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Let me admit from the outset that <b>calling</b> is a fairly deep subject with a lot of angles to it. So I won’t give you any three-point formula for figuring out what you are called to do with your life. I tend to agree with the wisdom of <a href="http://www.aholyexperience.com/" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">Ann Voskamp</span></a>, who says that “a calling is not a road map. It’s an invitation to take a journey, with the destination described but not revealed.”</div>
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If you want a more in-depth presentation on navigating that journey, get a copy of my book, <b><a href="http://www.amazon.com/The-Person-Called-Bill-Hendricks/dp/0802412017" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">The Person Called YOU: Why You’re Here, Why You Matter & What You Should Do With Your Life</span></a></b>.</div>
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But what is the subjective experience of determining your calling? How do you know in your gut whether you are “called” to a given path?</div>
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Again, there’s no simple formula. But here are some guidelines gleaned from the lived experience of countless people who have wrestled in their minds and souls to figure it all out.</div>
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<b>A path you’re considering is most likely a calling if. . .</b></div>
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<b>It fits your <a href="http://www.thegiftednesscenter.com/what-is-giftedness2" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">giftedness</span></a>.</b> This is a no-brainer. Nothing of consequence happens in the world apart from people gifted to the task.</div>
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<b>You feel drawn to it again and again over time.</b> Calling is intrinsically tied to motivation. You <b>want</b> to do the thing over and over. Indeed, you cannot <b>not</b> keep coming back to it. The naturalist <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_James_Audubon" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">John James Audubon</span></a> (1785-1851) kept drawing pictures of birds. It didn’t matter where he lived or what his circumstances were (when he was dead broke he left his wife and boys and headed down the Mississippi River to sketch all the birds of North America). He consistently came back to that because he enjoyed it so much.</div>
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<b>It meets with encouragement and confirmation from those who know you well</b> and who have your best interests at heart (excepting parents; no time to explain that here, just trust me on it). Others see your giftedness whether you recognize it or not. Pay attention to their affirmation. They’re not just being “kind” or “polite” or “flattering.” If they truly care about you, they are trying to help you see what you were born to do.</div>
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<span style="color: black;"><b>You conclude you cannot do otherwise.</b> </span><b>Callings have a sense of inevitability about them. After the fact—after someone has gone off and done some amazing thing—people will tend to say, “Well, of course they were destined to do that.” But before the fact there is also a pull of what amounts to a requirement or assignment: “I must do this!” One way that expresses itself is through an anticipation of regret: “If I don’t pursue this path, I will always regret that I didn’t at least try it.”</b></div>
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<b>You’ve made it a regular item in your prayers</b> and you have received either (a) a strong indication from God that you should pursue it, and/or (b) no good indication that you should not pursue it. People have a lot of ideas about prayers and God’s will. I will just say that your gifts are from God, and they were given you for a purpose. If that’s true, then no one is more interested than God in seeing you get into the path that was intended for you. So pay attention and look/listen/seek for guidance from Above. And when you get it, <b>do it!</b></div>
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<b>A path you’re considering is most likely a whim if. . .</b></div>
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<b>Your envisioned future keeps changing:</b> one day you want to do this, the next day you want to do that. Callings have staying power. They drive relentlessly toward a particular outcome.</div>
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<b>It’s a recent idea and you have not given it much serious thought over time.</b> I probably have ten ideas a day for careers I’d love to pursue. But those notions aren’t callings, they’re fantasies. It’s fun to pretend for a moment what it would be like to be a cop, or to stand on a scaffold on the side of a building washing windows, or to be a performer in <a href="https://www.cirquedusoleil.com/en/home/shows.aspx" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">Cirque de Soleil</span></a>. But true callings don’t come about from imagination alone. They are usually the product of serious thought, planning, and intentional action aimed in a given direction.</div>
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<b>You have not explored what it really entails,</b> what it would really cost, and what you would really have to do to to make it happen. The next time you think you’re onto a “calling,” ask yourself: “So what am I <b>doing</b> to be serious about this? Where’s the proof?”</div>
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<b>It involves grandiosity.</b> Do you feel called to be the President of the United States someday? Are you going to find the cure for cancer? Are you the savior that the public schools have been waiting for? Are you the one who’s going to finally crack the code on world peace? Any “calling” that places you on a throne from the outset is not a calling, but rather the height of arrogance (or at the least, naiveté). It’s fine to have a BHAG (big hairy audacious goal) that functions like a personal North Star to guide you. But hold off on the coronation ceremony. Callings are first and foremost about serving. Do that for a while, and maybe (just maybe) someone will eventually recognize your efforts as greatness.</div>
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<b>It requires strengths and motivations you simply don’t have.</b> This is just a restatement of the giftedness principle above. No one is called to something for which they are not gifted. It’s that simple.</div>
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<b>Those who know you well do not affirm it.</b> As stated above, others can see your gifts, even if you can’t. By the same token, they can also see what’s not there—even if you can’t. You may be absolutely convinced that you’re the next <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mark_Zuckerberg" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">Mark Zuckerberg</span></a>. But if your five best friends disagree, you’d better take a second look in the mirror.</div>
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<b>It’s a difficult path for which you are neither talented nor motivated.</b> A telltale sign that someone is pursuing a whim and not a calling is that they underestimate the challenge ahead of them. I’ve met scores of dreamers who had an idea all concepted and scaled and ready to go public—but hadn’t yet made a single sale. It turns out that life is tough. I mean, <b>really</b> tough! And adversities have a way of knocking out the pretenders. Only someone who is called—who is dedicated, committed, tenacious, persevering, and genuinely competent—will last long enough to get the result they are seeking.</div>
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<b>The Bottom Line</b></div>
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I’ve met many people who told me they felt “called” to a given career. I have never questioned their sense of calling. That’s not my place. But when I look at the long-term outcomes, here’s my conclusion:</div>
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It’s hard for me to believe that the person who experiences repeated setbacks, failures, crises, conflicts, marital difficulties, health problems, and financial troubles is following their call. I’m not minimizing the challenges of life. Without a doubt, life is hard whether you’re following your calling or not. But a calling never destroys a person, no matter how bad things get.</div>
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Meanwhile, someone who is truly called sees results, regardless of the troubles that come their way. They see actual fruit from their labors. And that outcome fills them with joy, no matter how bad things around them seem, or how small and seemingly insignificant the victory seems. </div>
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The point is, a calling means you’re supposed to go somewhere. And yeah, some people enjoy the journey more than the destination. That’s fine. But in the end, the One who called you to your labors is less interested in your satisfaction than in you getting the job done—because no one else benefits unless that happens.</div>
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<b><i><span style="color: magenta;">Question:</span> </i></b>How do you know you’re called to the work you’re doing?</div>
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<b>NEXT POST ON</b> <span style="color: #35a2f7; font-family: Syncopate;"><b>BillHendricks.net</b></span>: Five Questions to Ask When You Enter Someone’s Story</div>
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Bill Hendrickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04200824393602241927noreply@blogger.com28tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8233130999693277623.post-66542532146233807992014-12-13T09:54:00.000-06:002014-12-13T09:55:16.210-06:00Efficiency Is About Motivation More Than Systematization<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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A wag once quipped, “No man goes before his time—unless the boss leaves early.”</div>
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Another said, “I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.”</div>
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Sound familiar?</div>
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I recently spoke with a man who ran a business that trains managers to use their time and energy more efficiently. He told me that a lot of his trainees don’t implement the processes he gives them, even though those practices are proven to yield better and more productive work.</div>
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I asked him why not.</div>
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“It’s amazing to me,” he replied, shaking his head, “the lack of discipline. Just amazing! But then, that’s probably just the symptom. Probably at the heart of it is most people aren’t doing what they love.”</div>
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Hmmmm. . .</div>
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I’ve long claimed that <a href="http://www.billhendricks.net/2013/04/ten-signs-your-job-doesnt-fit-you_8.html" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">job misfit</span></a>—doing a job one is not born to do and therefore doesn’t love to do—is a widespread problem. My visitor was only confirming that hypothesis.</div>
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“I’ve done a lot of business with hospitals,” he went on. “Done a lot of business with universities. Done a lot with state government-kinds of stuff. And, you know, just a lot of people are not really where they should be.”</div>
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<b>Experts—But In What?</b></div>
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I pointed out that when a person is not working in their sweet spot, distractions come rather easily.</div>
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“Oh, yeah!” my friend agreed. “Yeah, in fact, you become almost an expert in not doing things that you really know are important to do.”</div>
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In other words, you become an expert in mediocrity. Wow! </div>
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That mirrors the <a href="http://www.billhendricks.net/2013/09/how-do-you-know-youre-in-right-job.html" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">Gallup statistics I gave in an earlier post</span></a>, which show that 70 percent of American workers are not “engaged” with their work. That is, their hearts aren’t in their work. For 58 percent it’s just a job. And another 18 percent actually hate their work.</div>
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Meanwhile, companies nationwide spend countless sums trying to cut costs, eliminate waste, introduce economies of scale, and boost productivity. But such efforts hardly matter if 70 percent of their workers have become experts in mediocrity because they are doing work that doesn’t fundamentally fit them.</div>
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<b><span style="color: #51a9ea;">Wouldn’t the smarter—and by far, the more profitable—strategy be to pay attention to the workers themselves, and particularly the fit </span><span style="color: #51a9ea;">between people’s core strengths and motivations (their giftedness) and the jobs they are being asked to do?</span></b></div>
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But then, what do I know?</div>
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An efficiency expert began his research into government waste by asking an office worker, “What do you do here?”</div>
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The worker had endured an endless parade of such intruders over the years. Yet she still labored away in tasks of mindless tedium, redundant forms, endless red tape, and relentless bureaucratic wrangling. Apparently this fellow was one nuisance too many, so she sarcastically shot back, “I don’t do anything here!”</div>
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The expert made a note of that and then went on to someone else. “What do you do here,” he asked him.</div>
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This man was at least as fed up with the broken system as his colleague, so he likewise retorted, “I don’t do anything here!”</div>
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The expert again duly noted the man’s reply. Then his eyes lit up with a sense of discovery. “Aha!” he exclaimed. “Duplication!”</div>
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Kind of gives a new twist to <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peter_Drucker" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">Peter Drucker’s</span></a> observation that “<span style="color: #181818;">if you want something new, you have to stop doing something old.”</span></div>
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<b><i>Question: </i></b>What makes people ineffective where you work?</div>
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<b>NEXT POST ON</b> <span style="color: #35a2f7; font-family: Syncopate;"><b>BillHendricks.net</b></span>: Is It a Calling Or a Whim?</div>
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Bill Hendrickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04200824393602241927noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8233130999693277623.post-14793553668939694402014-11-03T18:34:00.001-06:002014-11-03T18:36:03.502-06:00Giftedness: Reliable, But Never Infallible<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
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Last night, Nik Wallenda put his giftedness on display for all the world to see. His feat was pretty spectacular, totally amazing—and very, very instructive.</div>
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Wanna know his secret?</div>
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<a href="http://www.discovery.com/tv-shows/skyscraper-live-with-nik-wallenda/videos/episode-4.htm" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">The Discovery Channel</span></a> broadcast <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nik_Wallenda" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">Wallenda’s</span></a> two death-defying treks—one across an incline 700 feet high spanning the Chicago River, in 30 mile-per-hour winds, the other between two towers almost 600 feet high, <span style="text-decoration: underline;">blindfolded!</span>—both walks on a steel wire no wider than a nickel.</div>
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Hundreds of thousands turned out to watch. As the cameras panned the crowds, I saw mouths wide open, eyes transfixed, fists tightly clenched, and fingers firmly crossed.</div>
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“You guys watching think I’m crazy, “ Wallenda teased the onlookers, “but this is what I was made for!”</div>
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<b>How In the World?!</b></div>
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Therein lies the secret of Nik Wallenda—along with every other human being who does anything impressive. When people do what they are <u>born</u> to do, they tap into an energy that almost defies logic. “How can they do that?!” we wonder in amazement.</div>
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The answer is elegantly and mysteriously simple: <span style="text-decoration: underline;">because they were made to do it.</span></div>
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“God made me fast, and when I run I feel His pleasure,” explains <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eric_Liddell" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">Eric Liddell</span></a> in the movie classic, <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chariots_of_Fire" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">Chariots of Fire</span></a></span>. </div>
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Sounds an awful lot like Nik Wallenda!</div>
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There’s no question you and I probably wouldn’t attempt to hop from one skyscraper to another on a cable. Nor walk across Niagara Falls. Nor The Grand Canyon. But Nik Wallenda <span style="text-decoration: underline;">is</span> able to do heart-stopping feats like that because he’s got natural-born strengths for doing so.</div>
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<b>And it’s also true that he practices relentlessly, stays in tip-top shape, plans his stunts in infinitesimal detail, and prays a lot.</b></div>
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You and I could practice, train, plan, and pray, too. But I already know I could never stay on a tightrope for twenty-two nanoseconds, let alone the 22 minutes, 54 seconds it took Wallenda to cross The Grand Canyon. That’s because I don’t have the inborn strengths—the <b><a href="http://www.thegiftednesscenter.com/what-is-giftedness2" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">giftedness</span></a></b>—that Wallenda has. I have other strengths, but not those.</div>
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<b>Relying On Inborn Strengths</b></div>
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When I talk about strength, I’m talking about something you can rely on in the moment of truth. When a surgeon slices open a chest to do open-heart surgery, she’s replying on her strengths related to surgery that enable her to do the job. Again, she’s trained those strengths, given them experience, teamed them up with other people’s strengths, and (hopefully) said a prayer before she starts cutting. But she expects her strengths to show up when the procedure begins.</div>
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So it is with the strength of our giftedness. We can rely on it. We can trust it. It’s what allows us to perform the way we’re capable of performing.</div>
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This aspect of giftedness is a huge advantage for us as humans, because let’s face it, as <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Road-Less-Traveled-Timeless-Traditional/dp/0743243153/ref=asap_B000APXCQ4_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1415040260&sr=1-1" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">Scott Peck</span></a> put it so well, “Life is difficult.”</div>
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It is indeed! As <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Woody_Allen" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">Woody Allen</span></a> is said to have quipped, “Most of the world’s work is done by people who don’t feel so good.”</div>
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And yet. . .our giftedness has a way of showing up for us even when we don’t feel so good. In fact, exercising our giftedness has a way of re-energizing us when we don’t feel so good. It’s a huge boost physically, mentally, and emotionally.</div>
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<b>An Advantage, But Never a Foregone Conclusion</b></div>
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One further piece of evidence that giftedness can be counted on is that it yields results, even when we know that we didn’t do our job as well as we could have or should have. Even when we turn in what for us seems like a B- or C+ performance, if we’re operating in our sweet spot, others are liable to award our efforts with an A+. Because to them what we’ve done still seems pretty impressive—because they can’t do that!</div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Arial Black';">However</span><b> (and this is a BIG however). . .there’s just one significant caveat: the reliability of our gift can be a blessing, but it’s <u>never</u> a carte blanche. We can trust the gift to show up, but we can never presume on it to show up. We can’t coast and say, “I don’t need to study. I don’t need to practice. I don’t need to expend energy. I’m gifted to the task, so all I have to do is show up.”</b></div>
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When people do that, they fail. And they often fail at the worst possible moment. Because giftedness is not infallible. It arms us with strength, but it doesn’t make us super-human. Nor does it defy the laws of the universe.</div>
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Nik Wallenda is brilliant, daring, strategic, disciplined, focused, calculating, and an incredible showman (among other things). Plus he appears to have a strong bladder. But the day he takes his gifts for granted and says, “Oh, I don’t need to prepare for this walk, my giftedness will show up and all will go well,” that’s the day he takes a (likely fatal) mis-step. </div>
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(In point of fact, I have heard that his great-grandfather, Karl Wallenda, attempted to traverse two buildings in Puerto Rico on a day when, for the first time ever in his career, for whatever reason, he felt a strange sort of doubt about his ability to complete the walk. He fell to his death.)</div>
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Nik Wallenda understands the power—and the pitfalls—of his gifts. He knows he was made for the tightrope. But he also knows that while God has made us humans strong, He appears to have also made us fallible. </div>
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That’s why Nik Wallenda always says a prayer before he takes his first step across a chasm.</div>
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Adapted from <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><a href="http://www.amazon.com/The-Person-Called-Bill-Hendricks/dp/0802412017" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">The Person Called YOU: Why You’re Here, Why You Matter & What You Should Do With Your Life</span></a></span><span style="color: blue;">,</span> by Bill Hendricks (Chicago: Moody Publishers, 2014)</div>
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<b><i>Question: </i></b>What have you seen to be the limitations and fallibilities of your particular gifts?</div>
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<b>NEXT POST ON</b> <span style="color: #35a2f7; font-family: Syncopate;"><b>BillHendricks.net</b></span>: Efficiency Is About Motivation More Than Systematization</div>
Bill Hendrickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04200824393602241927noreply@blogger.com22tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8233130999693277623.post-73765929237172258862014-10-28T18:21:00.000-05:002014-10-28T18:21:35.637-05:00Every Life Has A Story<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Years ago I was told a simple truth that changed everything: the best way to understand people is through stories. Here is a video that eloquently expresses that profoundly insightful premise.</div>
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Whenever you encounter a person, you encounter <span style="text-decoration: underline;">all</span> of who they are and have ever experienced. </div>
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Every conversation they’ve ever had. </div>
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Every emotion they’ve ever felt. </div>
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Every memory they hold in their heart. </div>
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Every conflict they’ve ever engaged in. </div>
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Every hope they’ve ever dreamed. </div>
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Every disappointment they’ve ever endured. </div>
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Every belief they’ve ever claimed. </div>
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Every relationship they’ve ever known. </div>
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Every limitation they’ve ever struggled with. </div>
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Every adversity that’s ever come their way.</div>
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Every grace that, amazingly, has saved them.</div>
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It’s all there. All of that and more. Inside the body you can see is the soul you can't see, except as that soul inhabits, reveals, and expresses itself through the body. </div>
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<b>There’s a </b><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><b>person</b></span><b> in there. All of the person. A person with a story.</b></div>
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What if you made it your purpose to <span style="text-decoration: underline;">see</span> that person? To see them without judgment. To see a person who’s encountered whatever they’ve encountered.</div>
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To do that, you only need to make it safe for the person to tell their story. Once you know that story, you say, ”Of course. It all makes perfect sense. Now I understand.”</div>
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Every person has a story. And every story longs to be shared.</div>
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<b><i>Question: </i></b>Tell us about an experience you’ve had of “seeing” a person.</div>
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<b>NEXT POST ON</b> <span style="color: #35a2f7; font-family: Syncopate;"><b>BillHendricks.net</b></span>: Efficiency Is About Motivation More Than Systematization</div>
Bill Hendrickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04200824393602241927noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8233130999693277623.post-14561164839941749972014-10-07T10:20:00.000-05:002014-10-07T10:21:29.033-05:00Oh, For Teachers Who Are Gifted to the Task!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoBjyk9qO1vA0DcOCgyAjYVTWY2yJfy-OCFqUhMSmlU4DqkL3iHBDC6OtTXlIPJx4GFPlR2a5Bh8BC39fh2DSZ0FLzLgR_Z8vwkoLZdLG-0L3_NG36dG2SKDB_CMdVKxdBwxxBMADbV_7z/s1600/Want+to+Teach%3F+When+Can+You+Start%3F+jpeg.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoBjyk9qO1vA0DcOCgyAjYVTWY2yJfy-OCFqUhMSmlU4DqkL3iHBDC6OtTXlIPJx4GFPlR2a5Bh8BC39fh2DSZ0FLzLgR_Z8vwkoLZdLG-0L3_NG36dG2SKDB_CMdVKxdBwxxBMADbV_7z/s1600/Want+to+Teach%3F+When+Can+You+Start%3F+jpeg.jpg" height="273" width="400" /></a></div>
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Would you allow an incompetent brain surgeon to operate on your child? Would you put your 7-year-old on a plane with a pilot who really doesn’t really care about his job? Would you entrust your little one’s financial future to a financial advisor who would rather be playing golf?</div>
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Well, then, why do we allow ineffective teachers to dominate our schools?</div>
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Read it and weep: Last April the Gallup organization released a report entitled, <a href="http://thegallupblog.gallup.com/2014/04/gallup-releases-new-insights-into-state.html" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">“State of America’s Schools: The Path to Winning Again In Education”</span></a>:</div>
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Students who strongly agree that their school is committed to building students’ strengths and that they have a teacher who makes them excited about the future are almost <span style="text-decoration: underline;">30 times as likely</span> to be engaged learners as their peers who strongly disagree with both statements [according to a 2013 Gallup Student Poll]. However, less than half of students strongly agree that they get to do what they do best every day, and nearly seven in 10 K-12 teachers are not engaged in their work.</div>
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Did you know that? <span style="color: #51a9ea;"><b>A full 70 percent of America’s teachers reported to Gallup that they are </b></span><span style="color: #51a9ea; text-decoration: underline;"><b>not engaged</b></span><span style="color: #51a9ea;"><b> with their work.</b></span> Gallup describes “engagement” as the extent to which a person feels emotionally attached and involved in a task. </div>
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For students, engagement is “the noncognitive measure most directly related to academic achievement.”<span style="color: #5e6062;"> So here are the numbers on student engagement:</span></div>
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Notice that 45 percent of students are not engaged at their school. Why is that so? Well, look at the numbers on teacher engagement:</div>
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Look, I know that schools and teachers—especially in the public educational systems—are having to contend with insane problems related to family breakdowns, poverty, mental and psychological health issues, and other ills of America’s underclass.</div>
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But every time I begin to think that it’s hopeless to try to teach students who are enslaved to such challenges, I come across a <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marva_Collins" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">Marva Collins</span></a> or a <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jaime_Escalante" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">Jaime Escalante</span></a> or a <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Drama-High-Incredible-Brilliant-Struggling/dp/1594488223" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">Lou Volpe</span></a>. Teachers like that show us at an individual level what the Gallup statistics are screaming at us on a national level:</div>
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<b>The key to educating our youth is to put them under the influence of people who are actually gifted to the task of causing learning to take place.</b></div>
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I want to scream every time I see the billboard that reads, “Want to teach? When can you start?” The <a href="http://www.texasteachers.org/?gclid=CMHPiunpmsECFcRcMgodvWgAbQ" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">Texas Teachers</span></a> organization thinks that makes a great recruiting slogan by showing people how “easy” it is to sign up to teach. I think it’s an insult to the educational process! I mean, is public education now just a jobs program for people who can’t get a job anywhere else?</div>
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“Fixing” the schools is about as complicated and seemingly impossible a task as ”fixing” the tax system. There are so many factors, so many players, so many entrenched, systemic policies and bureaucratic behemoths and political angles in the mix that countless well-intentioned crusaders for change have run screaming from the building or else been escorted away to an asylum by men in white uniforms. So I make no summary statements as to what ought to be done, lest I speak as a fool.</div>
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<span style="color: black;">But I will say this: </span><b>whatever is done with the schools had better come down to creating and sustaining a process and an environment whereby the people who are truly gifted to the task of teaching are recruited into the classroom, and then resourced and given every opportunity to do what they do best.</b><span style="color: black;"> </span></div>
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In other words, in my perfect world teachers would be to be treated like gods, the way professional athletes currently are. If they were, I guarantee we’d see more of the best and brightest among us signing up to teach—people capable of living up to our expectations for what a teacher should deliver.</div>
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And if that were to happen, we’d begin to see the <b><a href="http://www.thegiftednesscenter.com/what-is-giftedness2" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">giftedness</span></a></b> of students unleashed through the educational process.</div>
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The way we’re going will not end well. Because no culture that allows its youth to grow up without learning what their strengths are, and what is genuinely valuable to know and to do, will stand.</div>
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<span style="color: #51a9ea;"><b>Bonus factoid: </b></span>U.S. teachers are dead last among twelve occupational groups studied when it comes to feeling that their opinions count at work (Gallup).</div>
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<b><i>Question: </i></b>What ideas do you have for recruiting gifted teachers and keeping them engaged in their work?</div>
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<b>NEXT POST ON</b> <span style="color: #35a2f7; font-family: Syncopate;"><b>BillHendricks.net</b></span>: Every Life Has A Story</div>
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Bill Hendrickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04200824393602241927noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8233130999693277623.post-76228638865449714962014-09-10T15:14:00.001-05:002014-09-10T15:17:08.964-05:00“I’ll Pretty Much Do Anything”<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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A tough job market. Bills to pay. Perhaps student loans to re-pay. Pressure to hurry up and get a job. Faced with all that, many people tend to just settle for any work that will pay.</div>
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Don’t!</div>
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Recently I was talking with someone a year or so out of college. She was lamenting her dismal experience in trying to find work. After telling one heartbreaking story after another about applying for this or that job but never hearing the magic words, “You’re hired,” she concluded her tale of woe by sighing, “At this point, I’ll pretty much do anything.”</div>
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I nodded to show that I understood and empathized—but certainly not because I agreed. To my mind, the words, “I’ll pretty much do anything,” are a white flag of surrender.</div>
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Surrender to what? A bunch of lies, that’s what. </div>
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Beginning with: “There is no job out there with your name on it.” </div>
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Followed by: “Even if there were a job with your name on it, good luck, because the odds of finding it are slim to none.”</div>
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Perhaps accompanied by: “It’s a fantasy to think you can really have a job you ‘like.’ Nobody gets that. Nobody except a lucky few. And guess what? You’re not one of them. Hey, why do you think they call it ‘work’? You’re not supposed to like it. You just do it. It’s a necessary evil.”</div>
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Or maybe this one: “This just proves what you’ve secretly known all along: that you don’t really have what it takes to succeed in this world. You never were smart enough (or good looking, or well connected, or disciplined, or outgoing, or persuasive, or dynamic, or crafty, or whatever enough it is that supposedly guarantees success).”</div>
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<b>Believe the Truth, Not the Lies</b></div>
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Look, I get it that each of us has to figure out how to put food on the table. And also that the workplace can be a dog eat dog world. And that in many places nowadays a good job is hard to find.</div>
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But I think the lies I just mentioned—and others like them—are simply spiritual mosquitos breeding in the standing water of economic malaise, carrying the virus of hopelessness.</div>
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<span style="color: black;">Here’s the truth: </span><b>You </b><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><b>are</b></span><b> here for a reason. You’ve been </b><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><b>placed</b></span><b> here for a purpose. You </b><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><b>do</b></span><b> have core strengths that fit you to do certain kinds of tasks really, really well, and with great satisfaction. There </b><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><b>is</b></span><b> work out there with your name on it. You </b><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><b>can</b></span><b> get paid to exercise your gifts.</b></div>
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I tell every one of my clients: finding work that fits you is a process, not a lottery jackpot. I’ve never seen that process happen overnight. You first have to know what your <b><a href="http://www.thegiftednesscenter.com/what-is-giftedness2" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">giftedness</span></a></b> is, because everything depends on that. Then you have to create a vision for what it might look like to use that giftedness in some line of work to earn a living. Then you have to create a plan for how you’re going to get from today to that envisioned future. And then you have to work that plan.</div>
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“Wow, that sounds like a lot of work, Bill.” Well, it is and it isn’t. Yes, it’s work in that you’re going to have <span style="text-decoration: underline;">do</span> something. Your perfect job is not likely to just call you up and say, “We don’t know you, but congratulations, you’re hired!” No, you have to get out there and find that work. </div>
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But finding it need not be drudgery, because you’re working toward something. You’re not just acting randomly or meaninglessly. There’s a purpose to your efforts. You’re going somewhere. You know there’s going to be a reward at the end—a reward that benefits you. So you’re fueled by hope!</div>
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In the meantime, while you’re on that journey, you may well have to “wait tables,” figuratively speaking (or maybe literally) to make ends meet. Nothing wrong with that. It’s what people who dream often do: they figure out how to get by while they get going.</div>
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<b>Settling Is For Silt</b></div>
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Settling is neither getting by nor getting going. It’s giving up. It’s giving in to the lies.</div>
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Which would you rather do: deal with disappointment and frustration in the pursuit of a vision that makes sense for you? Or let your soul shrivel up under the slavery of the lie that says you’ll never get paid to do something that fits you?</div>
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Settling is for silt. People are meant to rise up and live out the noble thing that their Maker has put in them.</div>
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<b><i>Question: </i></b>What’s a lie that has caused you to just settle for any job that pays?</div>
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<b>NEXT POST ON</b> <span style="color: #35a2f7; font-family: Syncopate;"><b>BillHendricks.net</b></span>: Oh, For Teachers Who Are Gifted to the Task!</div>
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Bill Hendrickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04200824393602241927noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8233130999693277623.post-13020101169144413022014-08-12T10:37:00.000-05:002014-08-12T10:37:46.444-05:00A Gift Is Also A Burden<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px;">
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The world lost a treasure yesterday. Robin Williams, comedian, dead at 63. Apparently from suicide. How could someone who brought so much laughter to others be so desperately depressed himself? Because with every gift also comes a burden.</div>
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Human <b><a href="http://www.thegiftednesscenter.com/what-is-giftedness2" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">giftedness</span></a></b> is an amazing thing. It enables people to design bridges, cure illnesses, think up apps, grow food, compose symphonies, enact justice, rescue the shipwrecked, sway opinions, and sooth the troubled souls of the insane. Indeed, nothing of consequence happens in the world apart from people gifted to the task.</div>
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Including making people laugh. That was part of Robin Williams’ gift. He could also make us cry. Or just smile. Or simply see ourselves. He was, at heart, a born actor, someone able to assume a role in such a compelling way that we no longer saw him as Robin Williams. Indeed, we no longer saw him at all. Instead, we saw an altogether different human being, a creation made out of “nothing more” than a man dressed up in a costume and makeup, animating a character using purely his own voice and mannerisms.</div>
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It was a profoundly brilliant gift. A gift of such magnitude that it probably shows up only once in a generation.</div>
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<b>Who Am I?</b></div>
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So what is the experience of being someone who is able to assume different roles? What must it be like to go to work one day and “become” Dr. Sean Maguire (<span style="text-decoration: underline;">Good Will Hunting</span>), go to work another day and “become” Adrian Cronauer (<span style="text-decoration: underline;">Good Morning Vietnam</span>), and go to work yet another day and “become” Mrs. Doubtfire? On and on. Put on the clothes. Put on the makeup. Assume the character. “Sell” that image. Bring that individual to life. Step into an entirely new identity.</div>
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It’s genius if you can do it. But is there a cost? Does the rare ability to portray a role play tricks with one’s own sense of being? So yeah, I can convincingly play the parts of all these amazing characters? But who am I? When the makeup is wiped off and I go home, who is this person called <span style="text-decoration: underline;">me</span>?</div>
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At The Giftedness Center we have worked with lots of folks who, like Robin Williams, have acting ability. Also lots of artists and musicians. Creative types, as they are called.</div>
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One of the common drivers of that form of motivation is called Realize Concept. The idea is that the person is driven to take what starts as “nothing” but an idea or concept and then <span style="text-decoration: underline;">realize it</span>—that is, bring it into reality, make it real in some way, whether it’s a song, or a poem, or a story, or a cake, or a character.</div>
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As I say, it’s a brilliant gift, actually rather God-like in that it’s an act of creation (by the way, <span style="text-decoration: underline;">all</span> gifts mirror something that God does in an infinite way).</div>
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<span style="color: #51a9ea;"><b>But with every gift comes a burden. Just bearing the gift—just by being who one is made to be—extracts an emotional toll on the person who bears it. </b></span><span style="color: #51a9ea; text-decoration: underline;"><b>All</b></span><span style="color: #51a9ea;"><b> gifts have a certain burden attached to them,</b></span> whether your gift is designing things, organizing things, singing, solving problems, keeping things in good working condition, teaching, analyzing numbers, starting a business, selling, managing, fixing, or building.</div>
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<b>Like a Stradivarius</b></div>
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In the case of Realize Concept, we see an above-average incidence of depression—and not surprisingly, often the abuse of drugs or alcohol as a means of self-medicating that emotional pain away. Realize Concept folks also have higher incidences of job turnover, divorce, bi-polar disorder, manic-depressive disorders, and other emotional challenges.</div>
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In short, Realize Concept folks tend to be extremely vulnerable emotionally. That’s because emotions factor so heavily into their ability to bring a creation to life. Their emotions are like a Stradivarius, capable of producing exquisite music in the hands of a master, but quite fragile and, if not cared for well, easily broken, perhaps even destroyed.</div>
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It’s a vulnerable thing to get up on a stage or in front of a camera and act. There is no safety net. It’s just you and the audience. Your performance is all there is. You fill the space, you command the moment, you create the persona, you “sell” the character.</div>
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Let’s be clear, acting was something that Robin Williams could not <span style="text-decoration: underline;">not</span> do. It was his life—quite literally. And he obviously loved doing it. Apparently if at least two other people were in the room, Williams would go into his classic bit, firing off a rapid string of jokes and one-liners, self-deprecating and making fun of things that people take too seriously. In short order, he’d hear laughter from his listeners, sometimes so much that whatever “work” was at hand had to be stalled for everyone to compose themselves. He could not not keep the gift from expressing itself. </div>
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Nor could he escape the burden of the gift. None of us can.</div>
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It was said, “To whom much is given shall much be required.” That means we’re responsible to use whatever we’ve been given for the purpose for which it was given. And it’s always a joy to use our gift. Even so, just in using the gift, the gift itself requires something of us. We do well to figure out what that price is for our particular form of giftedness, and do whatever it takes to manage that cost, lest the burden of the gift be our undoing.</div>
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<b><i><span style="color: magenta;">Question: </span></i></b>What is the burden of your giftedness?</div>
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<b>NEXT POST ON</b> <span style="color: #35a2f7; font-family: Syncopate;"><b>BillHendricks.net</b></span>: “I'll Pretty Much Do Anything!”</div>
Bill Hendrickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04200824393602241927noreply@blogger.com18tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8233130999693277623.post-6591813968112071772014-06-21T18:02:00.000-05:002014-06-21T18:04:33.526-05:00Take the “How Well Do You Know Yourself?” Quiz<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 18px; text-align: left;">
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<span style="font-size: 14px;">Without question, you’re the world’s best expert on you. But how much accurate knowledge backs up that expertise? Here’s a short quiz to find out.</span><br />
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People are fond of saying, “I think I know myself pretty well.” But do you? I can say categorically that there’s one area where very few people have much in-depth self-awareness—their <b><a href="http://www.thegiftednesscenter.com/what-is-giftedness2" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">giftedness</span></a></b>. Most people don’t know what their giftedness is, except perhaps at a very rudimentary level.</div>
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“I’m a people person,” they’ll say. “I’m pretty good with numbers.” Okay, fine. That’s a start. But compared to what one <span style="text-decoration: underline;">could</span> know about how one is designed to function, that’s barely a step in the right direction.</div>
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Here’s a short quiz to assess how well you really know yourself, and particularly your giftedness, especially as it relates to your work. See how you stack up.</div>
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The best indicator of how well you know your giftedness is that you can use it to predict ahead of time what will happen if you place yourself in a given set of circumstances.</div>
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<b><i>Instructions:</i></b> For each question below, rate how well you think you can answer that question, using the following scale:</div>
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<b>DON’T KNOW<span style="white-space: pre;"> </span>MIGHT KNOW<span style="white-space: pre;"> </span>KIND OF KNOW<span style="white-space: pre;"> </span>THINK I KNOW<span style="white-space: pre;"> </span>KNOW EXACTLY</b></div>
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<b><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>BUT NOT SURE<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>PRETTY WELL<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></b></div>
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<b><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>1<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>2<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>3<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>4<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>5</b><br />
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<li>Do you know who you need around you to be most effective (i.e., what kinds of giftedness you need to complement yours)? Do you know whom you can be most useful to (i.e., what kinds of giftedness yours can best complement)?</li>
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<li>Do you know how long you’re liable to stay motivated on a given assignment? Will you know the signals that your interest and motivation for it are starting to wane?</li>
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<li>Do you know how you would oversee other people? Do you know whether you have any motivation to oversee other people?</li>
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<li>Do you know how you prefer to communicate to other people? Do you know whether you even prefer to communicate to other people?</li>
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<li>Do you know how you try to influence other people? Do you know whether you even care to influence other people?</li>
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<li>Do you know what the “content” of your job should be? Should you work with numbers? Money? Groups of people? Individuals? Experts? Concepts? Transactions? Problems? Needs? Crises? Learners? Animals?</li>
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<li>Do you know what drives your behavior, the motivational “payoff” that you instinctively seek? Is it really to “make money”? Or is it to meet a challenge? Or meet a need? Or come out on top? Or take down the bad guys? Or gain understanding? Or make a difference? Or be heard? Or get a deal done? Or conceivably make money grow? Or what?</li>
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<b>NOW WHAT'S YOUR TOTAL SCORE?</b></div>
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<b>SCORE</b></div>
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<b><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>54-60</b><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span> –<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span> Congratulations! You appear to have an excellent understanding of your giftedness.</div>
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<b><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>44-53</b><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span> –<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span> You know your giftedness reasonably well, but need some clarification.</div>
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<b><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>31-43</b><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span> –<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span> You have a bit of insight into your giftedness, but not enough to make key decisions. </div>
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<b><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>12-30</b><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span> –<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span> You have no real understanding of your giftedness and are at significant risk as a result.</div>
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*From <span style="text-decoration: underline;">The Person Called YOU: Why You’re Here, Why You Matter & What You Should Do With Your Life</span>, by Bill Hendricks (Chicago: Moody Publishers, 2014)</div>
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If you scored pretty well, great! Send me a note and tell me about yourself, so I can celebrate with you for knowing these vital insights.</div>
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Didn’t do so well? You have lots of company. But there’s no need to stay in the dark! Check out my new book, <b><a href="http://www.amazon.com/The-Person-Called-Bill-Hendricks/dp/0802412017" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">The Person called YOU: Why You’re Here, Why You Matter & What You Should Do With Your Life</span></a></b>. It’s all about understanding and figuring out how you were made, and the difference that makes for your work and relationships.</div>
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<b><i>Question: </i></b>If it’s true that most people don’t know themselves very well, why do you think they let it go at that instead of seeking to find out more about who they are?</div>
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<b>NEXT POST ON</b> <span style="color: #35a2f7; font-family: Syncopate;"><b>BillHendricks.net</b></span>: “I'll Pretty Much Do Anything!”</div>
Bill Hendrickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04200824393602241927noreply@blogger.com51tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8233130999693277623.post-59286846862203440912014-05-28T19:04:00.000-05:002014-05-29T10:26:21.997-05:00We’re Having a Baby!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjU5EsxI9QPn5a51xebP30N-KfPfEmA5lS7dSPBALQZrUXPTX_XibSVvC3b_lwYBqBnGkEfUmm4C0oL6yvVbwtc4tSm6gdV0e6nJpLMwvKJj4tRxe2vJkFpTl34Yh-NqtXlYArECyOlgE6D/s1600/reveal+jpeg.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjU5EsxI9QPn5a51xebP30N-KfPfEmA5lS7dSPBALQZrUXPTX_XibSVvC3b_lwYBqBnGkEfUmm4C0oL6yvVbwtc4tSm6gdV0e6nJpLMwvKJj4tRxe2vJkFpTl34Yh-NqtXlYArECyOlgE6D/s1600/reveal+jpeg.jpg" height="263" width="400" /></a></div>
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In this post, I’d like to announce the newest member of the Hendricks family. . .</div>
<a name='more'></a>the Hendricks family of books, that is!<br />
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Say hello to. . .</div>
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Writing a book has many similarities to having a baby. Not that I personally have ever born a child, you understand. But I have done my part in bringing three babies into the world. </div>
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And now, there's <span style="color: #f75222; font-family: 'Arial Black';">YOU</span>!</div>
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The best part of having a baby is getting to show it off once it’s born. That’s what I get to do in this post—let you know that there’s a new member of the “family” to get acquainted with. </div>
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<b>Sometimes It IS All About You</b></div>
<span style="font-size: 14px;">What is</span><span style="font-size: 14px;"> </span><span style="color: #f75222; font-family: 'Arial Black'; font-size: 14px;">YOU</span><span style="font-size: 14px;"> about? The title pretty much says it all. Either you or someone you know may be among the countless people today who find themselves saying things like. . .</span></div>
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“I can't stand my job anymore!”</div>
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”I feel like I have no direction.”</div>
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“What should I <i>really</i> be doing with my life?”</div>
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Sound familiar? If so, you’re far from alone. <a href="https://www.barna.org/barna-update/culture/649-three-major-faith-and-culture-trends-for-2014#.UwKmESJixUN" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">Barna Group</span></a> finds that 75% of Americans are seeking ways to live more meaningful lives. Even among people of faith, only 40% have a clear sense of their calling. For Christian Millennials, that jumps to 48 percent who say they have no idea how to confidently determine what they were put here to do.</div>
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So is there a way to find and follow your purpose in life?</div>
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<span style="color: black;">Yes! The </span>key is in harnessing the power of your<span style="color: #51a9ea;"> </span><b><a href="http://www.thegiftednesscenter.com/what-is-giftedness2" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">giftedness</span></a></b><span style="color: #51a9ea;">. </span><b style="color: #51a9ea;">Every person has their own unique giftedness. Including you. And the best way to discover it is not through a test or gift assessment exercise, but from your own life story. </b></div>
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<span style="color: #323333;">That’s what </span><span style="color: #f45423; text-decoration: underline;"><b>The Person Called </b></span><span style="color: #f45423; font-family: 'Arial Black'; text-decoration: underline;">YOU</span><span style="color: #323333;"> can help you discover. It will show you a proven way to</span> find out what you were born to do and the profound difference that insight makes for every area of your life—work, relationships, even your spirituality.</div>
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<b>Baby’s Height and Weight</b></div>
<span style="font-size: 14px;">Here</span><span style="font-size: 14px;"> are some key details about </span><i style="font-size: 14px;">YOU</i><span style="font-size: 14px;">:</span></div>
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•<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Birthday (i.e., release date): June 1, 2014 (that’s this coming Sunday)</div>
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•<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>240 pages</div>
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•<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>List price: $15.99</div>
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•<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Available in paperback or Kindle editions</div>
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•<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Published by Moody Publishers, Chicago, Illinois</div>
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•<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Includes the companion workbook: <span style="text-decoration: underline;">Discovering Your Giftedness: A Step-by-Step Guide</span></div>
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You can <a href="http://www.amazon.com/The-Person-Called-Bill-Hendricks/dp/0802412017" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">find out more and place an order at Amazon.com</span></a> (which offers a discounted price).</div>
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<b>Want to Help Push This Book to Rock Star Status?</b></div>
Here are five things you can do. . .<br />
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1. Get your own copy of the paperback version one day early at a special <span style="color: #51a9ea;"><b>pre-release book signing being held this Saturday, May 31<sup>st</sup> from 3:00-5:00 p.m.</b></span><b>,</b> hosted by Rick and Susan Lewis, my good friends at. . .</div>
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<b>Logos Bookstore</b></div>
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6620 Snider Plaza</div>
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Dallas, Texas 75205</div>
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<span style="color: black;">214-369-3245 – </span><b>Call today to reserve your signed copy!</b><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGQxxhCyAzAPpXZfeZFX5R3BLREMpxTdroyKmJR0iQLMWxi9n8c5QrxNvL4BSkkCFW3Rv85PnqpM_qF71RV9hdSKCHxw4wBs3SpdgtfwJ-PsfVtW6eZv4_53MIsep9ONyqFYzyOEFqNCgt/s1600/Rick+and+Susan+Lewis+jpeg.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGQxxhCyAzAPpXZfeZFX5R3BLREMpxTdroyKmJR0iQLMWxi9n8c5QrxNvL4BSkkCFW3Rv85PnqpM_qF71RV9hdSKCHxw4wBs3SpdgtfwJ-PsfVtW6eZv4_53MIsep9ONyqFYzyOEFqNCgt/s1600/Rick+and+Susan+Lewis+jpeg.jpg" height="213" width="320" /></a></div>
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<b style="font-size: 18px;">Bring a friend. Bring all your friends!</b></div>
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2. Pre-order the book on Amazon.</div>
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3. As soon as you receive the book, read it over and then go to Amazon and write a review (this is the #1 way to boost the book’s standing).</div>
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4. Re-post this blog post on your own blog, Facebook, Twitter, and other social media, or just e-mail it to your friends and network.</div>
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5. Ask yourself: <span style="color: #51a9ea;"><b>who do I know who is struggling to figure out what they should do with their life?</b></span> Buy them a gift copy of the book and tell them you’ll read it with them and help them work through the exercise in the back.</div>
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<a href="http://www.thegiftednesscenter.com/you-advanced-praise" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;"><b style="font-size: 18px;">Click here to read advance praise for </b><span style="font-size: 18px; text-decoration: underline;"><b>The Person Called </b></span><span style="font-family: 'Arial Black'; font-size: 18px; text-decoration: underline;">YOU</span><b style="font-size: 18px;"> <span id="goog_1471017141"></span><span id="goog_1471017142"></span>>></b></span></a></div>
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<b><i><span style="color: magenta;">Question: </span></i></b>What do you think is the biggest reason why so many people lack purpose and direction?</div>
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<b>NEXT POST ON</b> <span style="color: #35a2f7; font-family: Syncopate;"><b>BillHendricks.net</b></span>: How Well Do You Know Yourself?</div>
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Bill Hendrickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04200824393602241927noreply@blogger.com20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8233130999693277623.post-80924662026963020662014-04-21T17:58:00.000-05:002014-04-21T17:59:12.821-05:00Five Lifelines to Help Non-Managers Manage<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Are you a manager who’s in over your head? Here are five ways you can at least tread water enough to get the job done.</div>
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A <a href="http://businessjournal.gallup.com/content/167975/why-great-managers-rare.aspx?utm_source=alert&utm_medium=Monthly&utm_content=morelink&utm_campaign=syndication" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">poll just out from the Gallup organization</span></a> shows that companies put the wrong people in management positions a staggering 82 percent of the time. </div>
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No wonder their research on <a href="http://www.gallup.com/strategicconsulting/163007/state-american-workplace.aspx" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">employment engagement</span></a> shows that 70 percent of the workforce feel no real attachment to their work. And why would they? If your boss isn’t gifted to the task of managing you, you’re probably not going to enjoy your job very much.</div>
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But let’s turn that around. Suppose you’ve been placed in a role where you must manage other people, but you’re not gifted to the task. What do you do?</div>
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<span style="color: black;">Well first, let me define what I mean by a “manager.” </span><b>A true manager is someone who gets work done through other people. Technically speaking, a manager doesn’t do the work. Other people do the work. The manager’s job is to enable those other people to get their work done.</b></div>
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Sounds easy enough, right? But apparently not, if 82 percent of people placed in management are ineffective.</div>
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Is there any way someone who is not a born manager can handle at least the essentials of the role? I think so. Here are five lifelines to keep you from drowning. They really boil down to giving your reports what <span style="text-decoration: underline;">they</span> need to be effective.</div>
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<b>1. Provide clear expectations</b></div>
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Whatever else you do, you have to tell people <span style="text-decoration: underline;">what</span> they’re supposed to do. Not necessarily how—unless the how is part of the expectations. If you need something done a certain way, you have to be clear on what that way is.</div>
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It’s amazing to me how many managers expect their people to read their mind. Unless you’ve communicated clearly exactly what your expectations are, people won’t interpret you correctly. They’ll try—and they’ll likely get it wrong and disappoint you. You’ll turn around and tell them they’re not doing it right. But is that fair if you’ve not properly defined what “right” means?</div>
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Part of the problem here is that many managers think they’ve set expectations just because they’ve verbalized them. Not so. Better to describe what you’re expecting and then check to see if your reports understand what you’re talking about. If they don’t, you probably haven’t done a good enough job of explaining.</div>
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This really comes down to a principle of over-communicating to your people. Meaning you don’t just say it once or use one means of getting through to your reports. You give them lots of different ways to “get” what you’re asking for: group meetings with discussion, individual conversations, written memos, examples of what you’re talking about, standards and metrics that define what’s needed, even demonstrating or using role play to make things clear.</div>
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Providing clear expectations goes hand-in-hand with. . .</div>
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<b>2. Define success</b></div>
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Do you realize that most people <span style="text-decoration: underline;">want</span> to succeed? The desire for success is just human nature. Which means most of your reports want to turn in a good performance. They may not be acting like it. But what’s the alternative—that they want to fail? That’s ridiculous.</div>
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Success means getting the result you’re after (meaning the result your organization is after). So you have to draw a target that spells out in no uncertain terms what that result is. Is it growth? Profit? Domination of a market? Quality? Money saved? Reaching a finish line?</div>
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What does achieving that result look like? The more you can describe what success actually means, the more of a vision you will give your reports for achieving it. Now they have something to reach for!</div>
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<b>3. Help your people succeed</b></div>
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Remember my definition of a manager: a manager enables other people to get their work done. In other words, they set them up for success. So what are you doing to help your reports go about their business?</div>
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Maybe they need more input from you (see above). Or less: some people work best when they work independently. Maybe they need resources: more and/or better materials and tools, greater access to opportunities or networks, more political cover or leverage, or more efficient systems. Maybe they need better training (more on that below). Maybe they need your help in losing a malcontent on the team who is dragging everyone down.</div>
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Great managers are facilitators. They keep people moving. If people get stuck, a manager gets them unstuck. If they stall out because they lack something they need, the manager supplies that need.</div>
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Think of your reports like the team working in the <a href="http://www.nasa.gov/mission_pages/station/main/" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">International Space Station</span></a>. There they are, 230 miles up there in orbit. Most everything they need to succeed depends on someone from Earth sending that up.</div>
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Are you giving your reports enough oxygen to succeed? Are you protecting them from the forces that would bring them down? Are you focused on making sure that whatever else happens, they are able to do their jobs effectively?</div>
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<b>4.Tell people how they’re doing</b></div>
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I once met a man whose boss lived several time zones away, and that his last performance review had been two years earlier. Likewise, I worked with a client who was hired into a new job, and after more than three years he still had not received a a performance evaluation.</div>
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How can anyone know how well they’re doing and what needs to change if their manager remains silent on their performance?</div>
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In my ideal world, I would do away with annual performance reviews and replace them with continuous (i.e., day by day) means of feedback.</div>
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One reason so many young people do well in sports is that they always know where they stand. There’s a scoreboard, but more importantly there’s a coach giving instant and constant feedback as to what they’re doing right or wrong, and how they can improve their success, based on their intrinsic core strengths.</div>
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Translated to the work world: if a report is meeting expectations, tell them that, and describe why you think that is. If they’re not meeting expectations, tell them that, and describe why you think that is—and then let them tell you why they think that is. </div>
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People crave knowing whether they’re satisfying expectations. So as the manager you don’t do anyone any favors by withholding evaluation. Just shoot straight, and the be willing to listen as people give voice to what they find helpful or frustrating. If they’re frustrated, do something about that (see #3 above).</div>
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Of course, realize that some of your reports are probably not in a good job-fit. If not, you have to adjust your expectations about what they’re really capable of. And maybe you need to just ask them straight out: “Do you really think you’re cut out for this line of work?”</div>
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But if someone is doing a job that doesn’t fit them, be empathetic. Remember that you’re not necessarily in a good job-fit either in your role as a manager. So just as you have to do the best you can despite your limitations, they’re likely trying to do the best they can, as well.</div>
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<b>5. Offer a path for development</b></div>
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Another aspect of human nature is that people love to grow and develop. Yes, a lot of people get into a job that doesn’t fit them and just settle, with the result that they atrophy. But that’s not what people prefer.</div>
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If someone is in the zone of being in a decent job-fit, they instinctively want to know: <span style="text-decoration: underline;">what do I need to do to get better at this and to advance my prospects and opportunities?</span></div>
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As the manager, you’re in the primary role of helping your reports create a vision for their future and mapping out a plan for how they can get there.</div>
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But let me be clear: development is not always the same as advancement. Some people want to end up in management. But not everyone. </div>
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Yes, the pay for managers is usually better (why, I don’t know, if 82 percent of managers are ineffective). But most people are actually not incentivized by money. Of course they want to get paid. But they’d just as soon get into a position where they have freedom. Or a better schedule. Or more learning opportunities. Or the chance to work on a significant project. Or to mentor under someone they value. Or to just make more money.</div>
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Find out what someone values and help them strategize a developmental path to go get that. You’ll get much better performance from people who feel like they’re getting somewhere, and that their personal goals are being accomplished even as they are accomplishing the organization’s goals.</div>
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Okay, that’s your cheat sheet for management. No one says you have to be the consummate manager. In fact, if Gallup’s numbers are any indication, the bar for effective managing is pretty low. All you have to do is satisfy a few basic essentials, and the rest will more or less take care of itself. </div>
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And guess what, if your people are getting the job done, you’ll be perceived as a great manager by the people who manage you. Not bad for someone who probably never wanted to mange in the first place!</div>
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<b><i>Question: </i></b>If you’re a manager, what’s been the hardest thing for you in managing others? If you report to a manager, what one thing could your boss do that would be most helpful?</div>
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<b>NEXT POST ON</b> <span style="color: #35a2f7; font-family: Syncopate;"><b>BillHendricks.net</b></span>: What Do You Do When Your Life Plan Falls Through?</div>
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Bill Hendrickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04200824393602241927noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8233130999693277623.post-18078545900192089432014-04-14T17:15:00.000-05:002014-04-14T17:24:25.150-05:00Ten Alternative Jobs for Actors and Artists<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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The cliché of the starving artist is commonplace. But what if you really are a creative person who just can’t make a living at your craft? Here are ten options to consider.</div>
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Pablo Picasso said, “Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once we grow up.”</div>
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Indeed.</div>
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When you grow up, you have to take care of yourself. That means earning a living. And that’s where artists routinely struggle.</div>
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I’m not going to get into the whole matter of whether you “really” have what it takes to be an artist or an actor. That’s a discussion unto itself.</div>
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Regardless, suppose you planned on getting paid to do your craft, but you’re realizing that’s just not going to happen. What do you do? Throw in the towel and try to go get a corporate job?</div>
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Maybe. But maybe not. There are <span style="text-decoration: underline;">lots</span> of places in our economy where creative people can make a significant contribution and get paid for it, even if it’s not the career they had hoped for as a concert pianist or Broadway starlet or art world sensation.</div>
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<b><span style="color: #42a5f1;">No </span><a href="http://www.thegiftednesscenter.com/what-is-giftedness2" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">giftedness</span></a><span style="color: #42a5f1;"> is ever wasted (that is, unless </span></b><span style="color: #42a5f1; text-decoration: underline;"><b>you</b></span><b style="color: #42a5f1;"> chose to waste it). It can always find expression, and the possibilities for expression are endless.</b></div>
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So in no particular order, here are ten ideas for using your creative gifts apart from the traditional paths (I could mention ten dozen, ten score, or maybe even ten thousand; this list is just suggestive, not exhaustive).</div>
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<b>Waiter</b></div>
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I know, I know. You say you’ve been waiting tables forever trying to get an acting job. So why in the world would you want to keep doing that?!</div>
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Well, have you ever considered that dining—particularly at an upscale restaurant where gourmet food and fine wine is served—is actually theater? The table is the stage. The diners are the audience. The food is the script. And you, the waiter/waitress, get to be both playwright and director. Whatever happens at that table is up to you.</div>
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Sort of. Actually, waiting tables is more like improvisational theater, because the diners are also fellow actors. You have to work with what they give you.</div>
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The key is that <span style="text-decoration: underline;">you</span> stay in control of the table. That’s what I learned from a rather successful waiter who had started out as an actor. He said that right from the get-go you have to identify the person at the table who holds the most power among the party, and figure out what you have to do to channel that person’s energy into making the meal a positive experience for all concerned. </div>
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One caveat to this suggestion: it’s simply a fact—and I’m not saying it’s right—that in our culture, those who make more money at waiting tables tend to be men rather than women. In the main, the higher-priced the restaurant, the more it tends to feature male waitstaff. Women serve as cocktail waitresses. Chauvinistic? Absolutely. But it is what it is.</div>
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<b>Trial Attorney</b></div>
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A profession in law was probably the furthest thing from your mind when you declared as a theater major in college. And I admit, this will be a long shot for many, if not most.</div>
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But consider what trial attorneys do. They try to convince a jury that someone is either innocent or guilty. There’s a lot involved in doing that, and a lot of what’s involved may not at all fit the giftedness of most creative types. But in the end, successful trial attorneys are often born performers. And influencers. They have a knack for staging a convincing presentation. They can “sell” their case.</div>
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Yes, logical arguments and using evidence well certainly get involved. But many a legal victory has been won primarily because the person making it had a gift for “connecting” with a jury.</div>
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<b>Salesperson</b></div>
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Speaking of selling, many performers are naturally and exceptionally good at appealing to the emotions of their audience—even if it’s an audience of one.</div>
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There’s an old saying that people decide to buy with their emotions, and then justify their decision using their reason. That’s probably true. </div>
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Which works to your advantage if you have giftedness, training, and experience as an actor or actress. You may already instinctively know how to read people and “play” to their mood and affect. I’m not saying you have to do anything manipulative. But if you believe in a product and are able to present that product’s value to a person in an emotionally compelling way, you’re likely to do rather well in sales.</div>
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There’s an entire sector in our economy called <a href="http://www.amazon.com/The-Experience-Economy-Updated-Edition/dp/1422161978/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1397512054&sr=8-1&keywords=The+Experience+Economy" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">The Experience Economy</span></a>. It involves creating a product or service that appeals to all of the senses and immerses people in an overall experience.</div>
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For example, <a href="http://www.starbucks.com/" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">Starbucks</span></a> is part of the Experience Economy. Starbucks is not selling coffee. Grocery stores sell coffee. Donut shops sell coffee. Gas stations sell coffee. Starbuck sells the experience of enjoying coffee and all of its associated activities and sensualities: aroma, music, conversation, solitude, lighting, ambience, etc.</div>
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The Experience Economy is a huge and growing part of American culture. It includes amusement parks and similar attractions, museums, resorts, ski slopes, dude ranches, cruise lines, zoos, historical re-creations and reenactments, on and on. In recent years, sectors like grocery stores, restaurants, professional sports franchises, filmmakers, corporate team building consultants, and churches have also discovered how to turn their offers into experiences.</div>
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Artistic people intuitively understand what it takes to create experiences. So the Experience Economy is ripe for the pickings. Honestly if you can’t find a job in that domain, I don’t know where else to send you and your gifts. It for sure beats whatever you’re liable to find in a Fortune 500 behemoth.</div>
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<b>Preacher</b></div>
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Speaking of churches, if you have performing gifts and you are a person of faith, then preparing for the ministry is at least worth considering. Preaching involves a lot of talents, but it certainly favors those with communication ability. Especially the ability to tell stories in a convincing way.</div>
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I know a man who had a genius for portraying a character on stage. I feel certain that he could have done well as a professional actor. But he felt called to the ministry, so he ended up as a teaching pastor. Using his gift for acting, he occasionally showed up before his congregation in full costume and acted out some biblical character. His people loved it, and he enjoyed a long and successful career as a preacher.</div>
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<b>Teacher</b></div>
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What I’ve just said about preachers holds true for the job of teaching, as well. Teaching involves many gifts, but one of the most important is the ability to hold a classroom’s attention in a compelling way.</div>
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I was an English major in college, but I had to take a required science course in chemistry. Since none of us in the class were chemistry majors, they assigned that class to a professor who was renowned as a “great teacher.” Well, he was! Because he was a showman. He didn’t just lecture about concepts and draw mysterious formulas on the board. He <span style="text-decoration: underline;">illustrated</span> what he was talking about. His classroom was his personal theater. The highlight of the course was the day he explained a particular chemical process by mixing together a vial of liquids and powders that suddenly exploded with a thunderclap, showering everyone with sparks! He got a standing ovation.</div>
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Who says teaching has to be boring? Yes, there are countless boring (and bored) teachers out there. But that sets the bar low for anyone who knows how to hold an audience.</div>
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<b>Corporate Trainer</b></div>
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If you absolutely must find a way to work in the corporate world, one possibility is to get involved in the training and development area. That’s a fancy word for learning. People in corporations constantly need to learn—learn new technologies, learn new processes, learn new management approaches, etc.</div>
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As I said a moment ago, no one says learning has to be boring.</div>
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So were you planning to be an animator at <a href="http://www.pixar.com/" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">Pixar</span></a>, but haven’t been able to get in the front door? Maybe you go to work for someone who is supplying training resources to companies. Your role is to develop creative video animations that help them get their material across in thoroughly engaging ways.</div>
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<b>Museum Designer</b></div>
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I mentioned the Experience Economy. Museums have become key players within that sector. Museums today are all about interactivity. Patrons don’t just want to see; they want to touch, hear, and participate, as well.</div>
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That’s where creative gifts become invaluable. It’ all about the re-creation of reality. Think in terms of animations, robots, models, simulations of weather phenomena, virtual experiences, etc.</div>
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<b>Performer at Medieval Times</b></div>
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This is a particular case of an Experience Economy restaurant. As its name implies, <a href="http://www.medievaltimes.com/" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">Medieval Times</span></a> takes people back to 11<sup>th</sup>-century Spain with knights on horses and jousting and courtiers and a royal feast and so on. All of that takes creative people to pull off. Some perform. Some set the stage. Some envision the possibilities.</div>
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There are plenty of other attractions around the United States where people have an opportunity to return to some setting from history. For example: <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Colonial_Williamsburg" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">Williamsburg</span></a>, <a href="http://www.osv.org/" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">Old Sturbridge Village</span></a>, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Plimoth_Plantation" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">Plimoth Plantation</span></a>, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amish_Acres" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">Amish Acres</span></a>, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mystic_Seaport" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">Mystic Seaport</span></a>, and countless <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Renaissance_fairs" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">Renaissance fairs</span></a> and <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_Civil_War_reenactment" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">Civil War battle reenactments</span></a>.</div>
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<b>Graphic Designer or Illustrator</b></div>
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Perhaps your artwork will never hang in the Smithsonian or Louvre. But what if it appeared on the cover of a popular magazine? Or adorned the packaging for a trendy product? Or served a worthy cause in a fundraising brochure?</div>
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I’m always amazed when people with a gift for drawing or painting or illustrating or some other visual art just abandon it to go work in a “regular” job. They just pack up their paints and brushes and pencils and chalk or whatever and put them in the closet. Then they wonder why their life feels so purposeless or even meaningless. Can’t they see that in neglecting their craft, they are starving their soul?</div>
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I’m not exactly sure what art schools teach aspiring artists about how to make a living. But it seems to me that there are a lot more places to get paid for one’s work than through an art gallery. We live in such a visual culture. Indeed, there’s never been a better time to have natural strengths for creating images. So even if you don’t consider the work of a graphic designer or illustrator to be true “art” (because it serves commercial purposes), those kinds of occupations come a lot closer to the heart of your gift than more “transactional” work in the business world.</div>
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As <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mick_Jagger" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">one of the world’s quintessential artists</span></a> once observed, “You can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you just might find you get what you need.”</div>
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Again, I could describe scores if not hundreds of occupations that make good use of a person’s creative talents. You probably can, too, if you’ll avoid locking your life vision into a narrowly conscripted picture of what you’re “supposed” to do.</div>
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Creative expression can express itself in countless fields. So there are lots of possibilities. <span style="color: #42a5f1;"><b>But whatever you do, don’t just ignore your gifts.</b></span></div>
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<b><i>Question: </i></b>What additional ideas can you suggest for how a person with creative gifts can pursue them in a meaningful occupation?</div>
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<b>NEXT POST ON</b> <span style="color: #35a2f7; font-family: Syncopate;"><b>BillHendricks.net</b></span>: Five Lifelines to Help Non-Managers Manage</div>
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Bill Hendrickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04200824393602241927noreply@blogger.com83tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8233130999693277623.post-43322865881211104252014-04-06T18:35:00.000-05:002014-04-06T18:35:50.222-05:00What Can We Learn from Steve Jobs?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixYmYw-X4-UheGNImtsnnfDenN58oA2NWfHQXc3v6082HdNoZNJ5IyJcPPdm5ciot0QDDeX_-yeE3WTgR9p9UTzNdqmSADPH_UKE9QGeU4nmZxamNXkcxt-1FBfcghc5xDAM8IGNQ0ebRI/s1600/Steve+Jobs+jpeg.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixYmYw-X4-UheGNImtsnnfDenN58oA2NWfHQXc3v6082HdNoZNJ5IyJcPPdm5ciot0QDDeX_-yeE3WTgR9p9UTzNdqmSADPH_UKE9QGeU4nmZxamNXkcxt-1FBfcghc5xDAM8IGNQ0ebRI/s1600/Steve+Jobs+jpeg.jpg" height="378" width="400" /></a></div>
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The short answer is, a LOT! But here are three key things that Jobs particularly illustrates about giftedness.</div>
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The masterful <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Steve-Jobs-Walter-Isaacson/dp/1451648537/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1396825628&sr=1-1&keywords=steve+jobs" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">biography</span></a> of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steve_Jobs" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">Steve Jobs</span></a> written by <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Walter_Isaacson" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">Walter Isaacson</span></a> and published in 2011 yields a treasure trove of evidence regarding Steve Jobs’ particular form of giftedness. Anyone who needs inspiration for whether it’s still possible to live a productive life ought to read (or better yet, <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Steve-Jobs-Walter-Isaacson/dp/1442369051/ref=tmm_abk_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&sr=1-1&qid=1396825695" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">listen to</span></a>) that book.</div>
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It’s not that you should try to “become” like Steve Jobs. That’s a fool’s errand. You can’t become him, nor should you, nor would he want you to (see below). </div>
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No, the real takeaway from studying the life of someone like Jobs is the way he illustrates giftedness in action in the real world. </div>
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You don’t have to be into computers or technology or marketing or vegetarianism or the Beatles or anything else that interested Jobs. But you can learn a lot about engaging the world through your own uniqueness by observing how Jobs engaged the world through his.</div>
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Here are three themes that seem especially prominent in Isaacson’s tale about the legendary Steve Jobs:</div>
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<b>(1) Your giftedness is a form of love</b></div>
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On the surface, it may seem obvious what I’m talking about here: if your work makes good use of your giftedness, you’ll end up loving your work.</div>
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<span style="color: black;">Jobs himself told the 2005 graduating class at Stanford: “</span>You’ve got to find what you love. . . . Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do.”</div>
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<span style="color: #323333;">I totally concur. Jobs is corroborating a core premise that anyone who knows anything about finding productive and meaningful work has said, or is saying: find work that fits you. </span><a href="http://www.billhendricks.net/2013/09/how-do-you-know-youre-in-right-job.html" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">Work that fits you</span></a><span style="color: #323333;"> is work that asks you to do what you instinctively love to do and are born to do.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #323333;">However, that’s not the point I’m trying to make. Rather, this: </span><b>when you use your giftedness for the purpose for which it was given—namely, to bring benefit to the world—you are expressing a potent and practical form of love.</b></div>
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What do I mean by love? Well, at its core, love involves acting for the good of someone else. It means doing that which is best and most kind to them. In everyday terms we would call it “doing the right thing” toward others.</div>
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Steve Jobs had a gift for perceiving what people really wanted, at least in terms of technology. He was the quintessential innovator/inventor. That is, he recognized that when it comes to a new gadget, people don’t know what they want because they’ve never seen it before. His genius was to pinpoint what people would want a new gadget to do, how they’d want it to look, and how they’d want to interact with it. Then he’d deliver that gadget.</div>
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According to my description of love above, delivering such gadgets was Jobs’ own unique way of expressing love to the world. Because he really did care about the stuff Apple turned out. He wanted “insanely great” products that would change the world for the better (as he perceived a better world).</div>
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<span style="color: #48a7ee;"><b>If someone has a gift, the most loving thing they can do with it is exercise it when it is called for.</b></span> Look around today. You’ll see places everywhere that cry out for the exercise of someone’s unique strengths. Strengths for causing learning to take place. Or for bringing about healing. Or for creating jobs. Or some other worthy outcome.</div>
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What is your giftedness all about? If you get that gift into play in a meaningful way, you will contribute to the world, and someone will benefit. You’d like that, wouldn’t you?</div>
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But what if you withhold that gift? For example, what if you just “settle” by taking any old job that pays and put your giftedness on the shelf? That doesn’t seem very loving, to me. Because someone will be missing out on what you have to offer. </div>
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<b>(2) Your giftedness is powerful, but limited</b></div>
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Steve Jobs’ giftedness was dazzling, to say the least. He will end up on the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mount_Rushmore" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">Mount Rushmore</span></a> of American inventors, for sure.</div>
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But for all of his genius, Steve Jobs was not omnipotent or omni-competent. There were many things he <span style="text-decoration: underline;">couldn’t</span> do. Even Jobs had limits.</div>
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For that reason, he wisely (or perhaps fortuitously) combined his gifts with those of others. The result was spectacular. In fact, game-changing.</div>
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Everyone knows the story of the original Apple computer. The real brains behind the inner workings of that machine was <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steve_Wozniak" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">Steve Wozniak</span></a>. Jobs' part was to conceive of what was needed, and then when Wozniak rendered it, to “sell” that product to the marketplace.</div>
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Likewise, thousands of engineers and code writers and marketing people and others have lent their giftedness to the Apple cause over the years, creating what <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apple_Inc." target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">Apple</span></a> has become and what it offers today.</div>
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Such is the genius of the modern corporation. It aggregates the giftedness of many people to accomplish things that go all out of proportion to what any individual could accomplish on their own.</div>
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The lesson here is not that one has to work for a corporation to make a contribution to the world. Rather that each of us needs other people who possess gifts we don’t have. Finding and collaborating with those people may lead to results that go far beyond anything we could have imagined. </div>
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As the saying goes: none of us is as smart as all of us.</div>
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<b>(3) Your giftedness always has a potential dark side</b></div>
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An artist has to stay in control of the creative process. By that measure, Jobs was an artist through and through. Virtually every page of Isaacson’s book offers evidence that if nothing else, Jobs was bound and determined to control everything he touched.</div>
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Now when you’re carrying out a vision for creating something that no one has ever seen or experienced before, retaining control of the vision is vital. After all, you’re the only one who can “see” what the finished product is supposed to look like. Others may work at rendering your vision. But only you can say whether their results genuinely bring that vision to life.</div>
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<b>But every form of giftedness has a potential dark side to it. It can create unintended consequences for other people.</b></div>
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In Jobs’ case, his demand for control led to countless problems in his working and personal relationships. Isaacson’s book offers countless examples of Jobs berating people at Apple whose efforts fell short of what he wanted. Some of those outbursts merely offended people. Others seriously wounded, and doubtless even damaged, people. And many of his tirades produced nothing but resignations, conflicts, the undoing of deals, and permanently alienated relationships. So sad! And so needless!</div>
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But don’t judge Jobs too harshly. <span style="text-decoration: underline;">Every</span> form of giftedness has a dark side. Yours included. Do you know what the unintended consequences are of you being you?</div>
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If you do know, what are you doing to manage those pesky habits in order to put boundaries around them, or at least to mitigate the trouble they cause?</div>
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<b><i>Question: </i></b>When you think about Steve Jobs, what’s the biggest lesson you take from his life?</div>
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<b>NEXT POST ON</b> <span style="color: #35a2f7; font-family: Syncopate;"><b>BillHendricks.net</b></span>: Ten Alternative Jobs for Actors and Artists</div>
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Bill Hendrickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04200824393602241927noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8233130999693277623.post-9176336008703683482014-03-31T19:15:00.000-05:002014-03-31T19:16:38.137-05:00Do You Want a Computer Telling You What to Do With Your Life?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Myers-Briggs. DISC. StrengthsFinder. AIMS. There are hundreds of assessments available nowadays. Which one is the best at helping you understand who you are? You might be surprised at the answer.</div>
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With the rise of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Knowledge_worker" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">knowledge work</span></a> in the mid-1900s, it became apparent that each of us creates value in a different way. You might be great at working with data, but the person next to you isn’t. However, they sure know how to sell a product, which perhaps you don’t. Likewise, someone else might excel at organizing tasks, while a coworker can’t find his way out of bed in the morning. However, that seemingly “disorganized” person is a genius at writing code. </div>
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So how do any of us figure out what we should be doing with our lives?</div>
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Well, that’s why we now have a whole industry devoted to what is called “assessment.” There are hundreds, possibly thousands, of personality inventories, psychological profiles, preference questionnaires, and other assessments on the market. </div>
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<b>Putting the Tests to the Test</b></div>
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So which test is the best at helping you find out what your giftedness is?</div>
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The answer: none of them! That’s because taking a test is only <u>one</u> way to learn about yourself. And in fact it’s not even the best way to discover what you’re wired to do. I say that for three reasons:</div>
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<b>(1) Virtually all assessments are inherently subjective.</b></div>
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Suppose you encountered the following question on a personality inventory:</div>
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When I don’t know what to do, I:</div>
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A. do research and look for information to help me figure it out.</div>
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B. ask someone else how they would do it.</div>
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C. act as if I do know what I’m doing and just get through the situation.</div>
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D. stop and say, “Wait, I don’t know what I’m doing.”</div>
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Whichever option you select, it will contribute to the inventory’s overall description of you that will come together in a report. That report may look very impressive. It might include graphs and charts and scores and percentiles. It might even give you lengthy paragraphs that describe how you tend to behave or feel. All in all, it may come across as very scientific, analytical, and objective.</div>
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<span style="color: black;">But is it? Consider this: </span><b>the objectivity of a test is not determined by how it reports its findings, or even whether a computer algorithm was involved in the analysis. It all depends on where the information comes from in the first place.</b></div>
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So where did it come from? It came from you. When you answer an inventory question, you are <span style="text-decoration: underline;">self-appraising</span>. You are telling the testing people whatever you end up telling them, based on your own self-insight (or lack thereof). The assumption is that you know yourself well enough to accurately answer the question. But what if you don’t?</div>
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And what if you fudge on an answer? What if you check a response that you know isn’t really you? After all, you may have reasons for wanting the test to come out a certain way (e.g., to get a job, to get accepted into a program, to come across a certain way to potential love interests, etc.). </div>
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For that reason, some test designers put questions in their tests to assess how “truthful” someone is being. But to me that’s an admission of an essential flaw in psychometrics: they are inherently subjective, because their data is based on self-reporting.</div>
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<b>(2) Virtually all assessments are comparative.</b></div>
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Almost all of them describe you against a “norm” of the population. That is, there is supposedly some authoritative, universally applicable metric for how the “average” person would perform the behavior in question or respond to the test item being asked. Your answers are compared to that norm. (By the way, the relative variance between you and that norm is called “deviance from the norm.” I already don’t like where this is going.)</div>
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Ultimately, that approach leads to placing you in a category of people and assigning you a label that supposedly describes you. Is that designation helpful?</div>
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Somewhat. But only somewhat. It gets you in the ballpark. But it doesn’t tell you how you uniquely play your position.</div>
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Consider the widely popular <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Myers-Briggs_Type_Indicator" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI)</span></a>. It sorts people into sixteen different “types,” or preferred ways of perceiving the world and making decisions. Once you discover your type, you know what makes you different from people in the fifteen other type categories. </div>
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But what distinguishes you from the people in your own type?</div>
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For example, let’s say you’re an ESTJ (Extroverted-Sensing-Thinking-Judging). <a href="http://www.myersbriggs.org/my-mbti-personality-type/my-mbti-results/how-frequent-is-my-type.asp" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">ESTJs comprise an estimated 8.7 percent of the population of the U.S.</span></a> That’s 27.3 million people. Extrapolated to the entire world, that’s 613 million people. </div>
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Your giftedness is unique to you. So if tens and even hundreds of millions of other people are the same “type” as you, does figuring out what your type is nail down what your giftedness is? I think not.</div>
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I have nothing against Myers-Briggs, or any of the other assessments that are comparative. I’ve occasionally worked with some of them myself, and I think they offer some interesting insights into human interactions. I just don’t see them getting down to the individual/personal level, which is where your giftedness lies.</div>
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<b>In the end, what matters is not not how you </b><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><b>compare</b></span><b> to other people, but rather what </b><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><b>distinguishes</b></span><b> you from other people. What makes you uniquely </b><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><b>you</b></span><b>?</b></div>
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<b>(3) Virtually all assessments are quantitative.</b></div>
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One of the underlying assumptions of the assessment field is that people and their behavior can be quantified. That’s because so many of the assessments that are out there are based on a psychological model of some sort. Psychology is a science, which means it has a bias for (if not an exclusive commitment to) quantifiable data.</div>
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In other words, the premise on which those assessments are based is that people are quantifiable; we can be understood best through measurements, numbers, and equations.</div>
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But who says we are? And even if we are, who says that numerical measurement is the only way or the best way to understand us as human beings?</div>
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Let me put it this way: so many of the great and abiding and universal themes of the human condition—love, bravery and courage, loyalty, community, faith, a preference for beauty, morality, gratitude, generosity—are inherently qualitative, not quantitative. </div>
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I know there are a handful of people who believe, for example, that love is “nothing but” a physio-chemical process that takes place in the human brain, in which certain hormones and chemical reactions take place, resulting in feelings we describe as “love.”</div>
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That may be so (i.e., there’s no doubt that the body gets involved in love).</div>
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But as a practical matter, no one lives as if that were so, or that those physical processes are “all" that love is. Anyone who went home and told their spouse that his/her love for them was “nothing but” a physio-chemical reaction would probably not be with their spouse for much longer.</div>
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<b>No, there is clearly a whole dimension of human beings that goes beyond the quantitative. I happen to believe that we humans are a body-soul unity, which means we have a material dimension (observable by empirical, quantitative means) and an immaterial dimension (which must be ascertained in other ways).</b></div>
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<b>An Alternative to Tests</b></div>
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What would be another way? Well, in my <a href="http://www.billhendricks.net/2014/03/five-ways-to-identify-your-strengths.html#more" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">last post</span></a>, I pointed out that your own life story yields plenty of clues as to how you are wired. Certain activities you’ve done that you enjoyed doing and did well reveal a remarkably consistent pattern in the way you function, or “do life.” That pattern describes your core strengths and natural motivation. As a result, it’s remarkably predictive in terms of career success and satisfaction.</div>
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I have a free resource available at my website to help you engage in that inquiry, called <b><a href="http://www.thegiftednesscenter.com/discovering-your-giftednesstitlegyd" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">Discovering Your Giftedness: A Step-by-Step Guide</span></a></b>.</div>
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You can certainly take a test instead, if you like. Tests tend to be fast, inexpensive, and scalable—just what industry likes. </div>
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Maybe you’ll like that approach, too. But the question you’ll have to decide is: do you really want a computer telling you what to do with your life?</div>
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<b><i>Question: </i></b>What has been your experience with personality tests, inventories, and assessments, and how have they helped/hindered you in understanding the core of who you are?</div>
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<b>NEXT POST ON</b> <span style="color: #35a2f7; font-family: Syncopate;"><b>BillHendricks.net</b></span>: What We Can Learn from Steve Jobs?</div>
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Bill Hendrickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04200824393602241927noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8233130999693277623.post-45823184736896609282014-03-22T13:32:00.000-05:002014-03-22T13:33:15.323-05:00Five Ways to Identify Your Strengths<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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It’s all the rage nowadays to give the advice, “Play to your strengths.” But how can you know what your strengths really are? Here are five ways to do it—four that work and one that doesn’t.</div>
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Have you ever found yourself talking to a friend or family member who is trying to figure out what they should do with their life? If so, you likely asked them, “What are you good at? What are your strengths?”</div>
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In most cases, the most accurate response to that question is: “I don’t know.” Because if the person did know, they wouldn’t be trying figure out what to do with their life. They’d already know what they’re supposed to do (they’d still have to find someone to pay them to do it; but that’s a different question).</div>
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<span style="color: #42a5f1;"><b>The fact is, most people </b></span><span style="color: #42a5f1; text-decoration: underline;"><b>don’t</b></span><span style="color: #42a5f1;"><b> know what their strengths are. </b></span>Some of them will come right out and say that. Others will hem and haw and say things like, “Well, I guess I’m good with numbers,” or, “I think I’m a people person.” But that hesitation and lack of specificity just show they don’t really know.</div>
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So how <span style="text-decoration: underline;">do</span> you figure out what your strengths are? Here are five strategies, listed from least effective to most effective:</div>
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<b>(1) Let others tell you who you are.</b></div>
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This is probably how most people try to figure out their strengths. It’s a terrible approach, but it’s the path of least resistance. In fact, it starts from the moment you’re born and persists all through your childhood and teen years and right into young adulthood.</div>
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That’s what makes it so awful: young, innocent ears hearing other people tell you about you. You don’t know any better, so all you can do is believe them.</div>
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What’s wrong with that? Only the fact that not everything you hear is true. Oh, yes, it’s often well-intended. I mean, what parent or sibling or teacher or friend <span style="text-decoration: underline;">wants</span> to lie to their child/sibling/student/friend? They would never mean to do that.</div>
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And yet. . .they unwittingly end up telling a lot of untruths because everything they say is filtered through the lens of their own subjective impressions. There’s no way they can crawl inside your skin and experience the world as you experience it. They can only tell you about you as <span style="text-decoration: underline;">they</span> experience you. Some of what they tell you has merit to it. But a lot of it is totally bogus.</div>
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Again, they mean no harm. But what they say sometimes causes great harm, because you then start believing things about yourself that simply aren’t true.</div>
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You may disagree with me here, and that’s fine. We could debate this all day. My bottom line is that no one is a better expert on you than you. So watch out for letting other people tell you who you are. That strategy just doesn’t work.</div>
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<b>(2) Pay attention to consistent, positive feedback from others.</b></div>
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I know, I know. It sounds like I’m completely contradicting what I just said. And I would be if consistent, positive feedback from others were the same thing as letting others tell you who you are. But it’s not. There’s a <span style="text-decoration: underline;">world</span> of difference.</div>
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The main difference is that one is subjective and the other is objective.</div>
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For example: here’s a little boy who draws a picture of a giraffe in kindergarten. It’s cute. It’s something his mother tacks up on the refrigerator with a magnet. And she tells her little boy something about himself: “Oh, honey, you’re so creative!”</div>
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Is he? The truth is, we don’t know. One drawing does not a Rembrandt make. But Mommy says he’s creative. So what’s that little boy going to believe? Especially if every time he does a craft project or brings home some creation from art class, Mommy praises him by saying, “Oh, honey, you’re so creative.” That may be anything but true. It's only Mommy’s subjective impression.</div>
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Meanwhile, a little girl in that same kindergarten class illustrates a simple story and takes it home. Her mother looks at it and says, “Oh, honey, I really like this story!” That’s positive. And it’s true. The mother is telling something true about herself.</div>
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That girl continues to illustrate stories and then write stories, all the way through school and into college. And most every time, someone makes a positive comment on it. They like it. Or they find it fascinating. Or they can’t stop reading it. Or they tell her they shard it with a friend. Or they marvel that someone could come up with such interesting characters and plot lines.</div>
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After enough of that consistent, positive feedback, there’s only one conclusion that girl (who eventually becomes a young lady) can come to: “I seem to have a real strength in creative writing.” </div>
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The reason she gets that consistent, positive feedback is because she does, in fact, have strength in creative writing.</div>
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Key word: <span style="text-decoration: underline;">consistent</span>. Key word: <span style="text-decoration: underline;">positive</span>.</div>
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Even if all feedback is inherently subjective, as long as it’s consistent (there’s a lot of it) and positive (it’s mostly affirming and validating), collectively it all forms objective evidence you can take to the bank.</div>
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<b>(3) Pay attention when your efforts meet with success and effectiveness.</b></div>
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To some extent, this is a continuation of the previous point. Except that you don’t necessarily have to hear from others when something “works.” You can tell whether your efforts are bearing fruit.</div>
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For example, a boy digs a garden in his back yard and plants vegetables in it. The vegetables sprout up. He tends the plants. Lovely, vibrant zucchini and radishes and carrots and tomatoes start ripening on the vine, and a basketful of vegetables shows that the boy has a green thumb—especially when he gets those results year after year, and he becomes increasingly sophisticated in his ability to grow vegetables under a variety of circumstances.</div>
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What about failure? Does that automatically mean someone isn’t cut out for a given task? By no means. Everyone’s going to fail sometime—even if one is gifted to a task. Failure’s just a part of life, because there is so much outside one’s control.</div>
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But genuine strength in an area tends to correlate with more success and less failure. And even when failures come, they tend to provide extra motivation—not defeat—to the person who is truly gifted to the task. They don’t throw in the towel just because they had a bad outing. Instead, they try to figure out what went wrong and learn to avoid that breakdown going forward—which makes them that much stronger and more likely to succeed.</div>
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<b>(4) Joy and satisfaction from your efforts.</b></div>
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The telltale sign that your <b><a href="http://www.thegiftednesscenter.com/what-is-giftedness2/" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">giftedness</span></a></b> is engaged in an activity is that you gain energy from doing it. You enjoy it. Your heart is in it. You find it satisfying.</div>
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What strengths are you using when you’re in those moments? If you’ll pay attention, you’ll discover that those are strengths you tend to use on a fairly consistent basis, often without even thinking about them. They’re natural. They’re instinctive.</div>
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Which brings us to the best and most powerful way of discovering your strengths. . .</div>
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<b>(5) Look for a consistent pattern of motivated behavior.</b></div>
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Giftedness expresses itself again and again in your life. That’s the nature of the phenomenon.</div>
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That being the case, you can use your giftedness to identify your strengths in a very objective way. The process involves going back to those moments in your life when you were doing an activity you really enjoyed doing and where you actually did something or accomplished something (as opposed to just a milestone event like a birthday or graduating from high school). You analyze those activities to identify the abilities you were actually using to accomplish them. </div>
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If you analyze six or eight or more of those activities, you’ll discover that certain abilities keep popping up fairly consistently. Those are your core strengths. Those are the “tools” that you keep using whenever you’re in the “sweet spot” of exercising your giftedness.</div>
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I have a free resource on The Giftedness Center’s website to help you with this inquiry, called <b><a href="http://www.thegiftednesscenter.com/discovering-your-giftednesstitlegyd" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">Discovering Your Giftedness: A Step-by-Step Guide</span></a></b>. It gives you everything you need to pinpoint your core strengths, along with many other aspects of your inborn giftedness. Give that exercise a try, and then let me know what you discover!</div>
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<b>What About Taking a Test?</b></div>
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By now, you may be wondering why I haven’t mentioned the numerous tests, profiles, and inventories available today for identifying people’s strengths, aptitudes, styles, and other aspects of their personalities. Aren’t those tools the simplest and most accurate means of finding out who you “really” are?</div>
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Maybe. But maybe not. However, that’s such an enormous topic that I’ll have to talk about it in my next post. See you then!</div>
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<b><i>Question: </i></b>Describe for me the most helpful approach you’ve ever found to identifying your core strengths?</div>
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<b>NEXT POST ON</b> <span style="color: #35a2f7; font-family: Syncopate;"><b>BillHendricks.net</b></span>: Do You Really Want a Computer Telling You What to Do With Your Life?</div>
Bill Hendrickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04200824393602241927noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8233130999693277623.post-86746575596951204032014-03-17T19:16:00.001-05:002014-03-17T19:17:40.464-05:00Whatever You Learn, Learn to LEARN<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoCaKkxPJSwQkLhEF-f-O86GwxEv2UcikgrKFkQAdPl5eQgo5_kbxxwnJSd_-WJVhjQN1M_3t-bcOJgdFe-3dvjCx1dkci4ic4XesaNmhCw5Exh7l_xVskOrvee44p8kjyytCrBWasJVkX/s1600/synapses+jpeg.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoCaKkxPJSwQkLhEF-f-O86GwxEv2UcikgrKFkQAdPl5eQgo5_kbxxwnJSd_-WJVhjQN1M_3t-bcOJgdFe-3dvjCx1dkci4ic4XesaNmhCw5Exh7l_xVskOrvee44p8kjyytCrBWasJVkX/s1600/synapses+jpeg.jpg" height="278" width="400" /></a></div>
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Turns out the most important skill you’ll ever need in life isn’t even taught in high schools, colleges, or graduate programs. So what is it and where can you learn it?</div>
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Remember when you were in high school (maybe you’d rather not!)? Regardless of whether you did well there, in all likelihood you heard someone—a teacher, a principal, a parent—implore you to “work hard, study hard, do your best!” Why? “So you can get into college.” And why was that important? “So you can get a good job.”</div>
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But is studying hard in order to make good grades the magic formula for finding and holding a job? Not according to Laszlo Bock, senior vice president for people operations at <a href="http://www.google.com/" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">Google</span></a>. Here’s what he had to say last summer in an <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2013/06/20/business/in-head-hunting-big-data-may-not-be-such-a-big-deal.html" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">interview with <span style="text-decoration: underline;">The New York Times</span></span></a>:</div>
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G.P.A.’s are worthless as a criteria for hiring, and test scores are worthless—no correlation at all except for brand-new college grads, where there’s a slight correlation. Google famously used to ask everyone for a transcript and G.P.A.’s and test scores, but we don’t anymore, unless you’re just a few years out of school. We found that they don’t predict anything.</div>
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What’s interesting is the proportion of people without any college education at Google has increased over time as well. So we have teams where you have 14 percent of the team made up of people who’ve never gone to college.</div>
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How can that be? How can one of the world’s most innovative, cutting edge, “fast” companies engaged in nothing but knowledge work (no manufacturing, shipping, data entry, or other work that could be done by lower-skilled employees) maintain excellence through people who never went to college, let alone maybe didn’t end up in the top ten percent, or quarter, or even half of their college class?</div>
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Laszlo offers this insight to explain what matters: </div>
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After two or three years, your ability to perform at Google is completely unrelated to how you performed when you were in school, because the skills you required in college are very different. . . . </div>
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I think academic environments are artificial environments. People who succeed there are sort of finely trained, they’re conditioned to succeed in that environment. One of my own frustrations when I was in college and grad school is that you knew the professor was looking for a specific answer. You could figure that out, but it’s much more interesting to solve problems where there isn’t an obvious answer. You want people who like figuring out stuff where there is no obvious answer.</div>
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<b>The Skill of Learning</b></div>
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<span style="color: black;">Bingo! </span><b>The most important skill anyone can ever possess in today’s workplace (or in life for that matter) is the skill of figuring stuff out. In other words, the skill of learning. </b></div>
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If you know how to learn, you’ll be invaluable. If you don’t—well, make peace with the fact that you’re always going to work at a fairly routine, paint-by-the-numbers job that doesn’t ask much of you. It’s that simple. (Oh, by the way, routine, paint-by-the-numbers jobs that don't ask much of people are soon to be <a href="http://www.madrimasd.org/empleo/documentos/doc/MGI-Global_labor_Full_Report_June_2012.pdf" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">jobs that will be done by machines</span></a>.)</div>
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Notice: the skill of knowing how to learn is different from having an education. You can be educated—in fact, educated to a fairly high level—but not know how to learn. The difference is the difference between knowing how to eat fish and knowing how to fish. It’s the difference between knowing how to do well in a classroom with a teacher, and knowing what to do if you don’t have a classroom or a teacher.</div>
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<b>Countless scenarios in today’s work world require you to figure out what to do when you don’t have a classroom or a teacher. In the work world of tomorrow, you’ll only encounter more of those scenarios. Which means the work world will favor those who know how to learn.</b></div>
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Is that skill among your most advanced capabilities?</div>
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<b>Seven Thoughts On Learning to Learn</b></div>
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If not, here are seven ideas for stimulating your learning juices. . .</div>
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<b>(1) Get curious.</b></div>
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Born learners are instinctively curious. But what if you weren’t born that way? Well, then, admittedly you’ll have to “work” at it. Sorry! It’s like people who aren’t born athletes who still need to exercise. You have to gin up the energy to do it. But in the end, it’s worth it.</div>
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Here’s one suggestion: pick one thing a day to do differently. Just because. For example. . .</div>
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• Drive a different route to work. </div>
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• Eat lunch at a different place than usual. </div>
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• Listen to a different radio station on the way home—one you’d “never” listen to! </div>
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• Part your hair differently. </div>
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• Grab a cup of coffee with someone you’ve never gotten to know before, and ask them this question: <u>when you were growing up, what did you think you wanted to do when you grew up, and how did you end up doing what you’re now doing?</u> </div>
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• Ask someone younger than you to show you their favorite app. </div>
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• Identify something that totally drives you up the wall and Google it to find out who its main supporters or champions are, and why they back that thing.</div>
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The world does not suffer from a lack of potential discoveries. The world suffers from a lack of intentional explorers.</div>
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<b>(2) Pick an area of specialization as a frame of reference, and go deep in that area.</b></div>
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The world is a massive place, with tons of stuff going on—infinitely more than you’ll ever be able to grasp. But one way to apprehend more than you would/could otherwise is to pick one thing to know in-depth, and then use that expertise as a basis of comparison for understanding other areas.</div>
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I myself have a decent background in literature and the humanities, with a special focus on the area of <a href="http://www.thegiftednesscenter.com/what-is-giftedness2" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">human giftedness</span></a>, which deals with people’s individual narratives. That may not seem like anything that would help me understand science and technology, or sociology, or economics, or political theory. Yet there are countless tie-ins between what I know and other fields of knowledge. By knowing one thing well, I have better tools to understand a lot of things well enough.</div>
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<b>(3) Read habitually and read widely.</b></div>
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In the wired world, dominated as it is by so-called “social media,” it’s easy to snack on tasty morsels but not dine on things of substance—things that nourish.</div>
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But true thought leaders have this in common: they read habitually and they read widely. </div>
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By contrast, people who don’t value learning fret about “missing” something if they’re not connected to their devices 24/7. Ironically, they miss the most important truths—because the most important truths move at the speed of people, not electrons. It’s the difference between knowing what’s going on, and knowing what it means. </div>
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Books and articles represent people’s genius for figuring out what it all means. Why not avail yourself of their genius?</div>
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<b>(4) Assume your job will go away.</b></div>
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Imagine I had a crystal ball and was able to forecast that your job will go away in five, ten, or fifteen years. What would you start doing to prepare for that development? Well, trust me, that reality <u>is</u> coming for vast numbers of people. So if nothing else motivates you to activate your powers of learning, that reality should!</div>
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Seriously: if your job went away tomorrow, what would you do? If I were you, I would start preparing for that eventuality by learning whatever you need to learn in order to be ready, if and when that day comes.</div>
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<b>(5) Play.</b></div>
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Learning doesn’t have to be dull. I know countless settings make it dull. But that’s their problem, not learning’s problem. True learning can actually be a lot of fun.</div>
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Part of the trick here is to figure out how <span style="text-decoration: underline;">you</span> learn. Not everyone learns in the ways they teach in schools (by reading, listening, memorizing, and taking tests). Some people learn in teams. Some people learn by participating in an activity. Some people learn by doing, trying, and experimenting.</div>
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How do you learn?</div>
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Whatever form it takes, have fun with it! Go to a museum. Form a study group or discussion group. Start a project. Go on a learning adventure (a trip, a tour, a review of a body of literature, a visit to see a person, etc.). Write a paper.</div>
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Whatever fun means for you, figure out how to link up fun and learning, so that you engage in “fun with a purpose.”</div>
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<b>(6) Do something that doesn’t feel “safe.” </b></div>
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Learning is inherently disruptive. It takes you out of your comfortable patterns into new and unfamiliar places. That’s one of the major reasons why people resist learning. It’s actually resistance to change. </div>
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But there’s no way around change. You can stay comfortable and serene—and end up a fossil. Or you can press into the new, the unknown, the untried, and grow—and prolong your existence, along with your usefulness.</div>
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So what if you signed up for dance lessons, even though you feel like a klutz on your feet (trust me, that idea hits really close to home!)? What if you started learning a foreign language? What if you befriended someone who is totally and completely the opposite of you sociologically, politically, culturally, physically, and/or vocationally? What if you just went to eat in a part of town that feels totally outside your frame of reference?</div>
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I can’t think of anyone who has done anything of consequence in the world—from Alexander, to Leonardo da Vinci, to Magellan, to Bach, to Jonas Salk, to Mother Theresa, to Miles Davis—who didn’t go where they felt insecure and at risk.</div>
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I’m not suggesting you do something foolish. But if you’re not experiencing at least a little bit of fear (mostly fear of failure) somewhere in your life, I can guarantee you’re not learning much, if at all.</div>
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<b>(7) Find a teacher.</b></div>
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A few rare souls somehow have a gift for learning on their own, and they don’t require a teacher. But most of us aren’t like that. To learn, we need another person—a teacher, guide, tutor, sponsor, mentor, coach, or whatever role you want to call it. Someone who knows what they’re talking about and can make it safe for us to try our hand at cultivating knowledge and skills.</div>
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Maybe the most important reason we need a teacher is because a real teacher infects others with a <span style="text-decoration: underline;">desire</span> to learn. Just being around them makes us want to know more, try more, do more.</div>
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If you don’t know how to learn, maybe the best move you can make is to find someone who knows how to cause learning to take place.</div>
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Which leads to a bonus thought. . .</div>
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<b>(7a) Figure out how <u>you</u> learn.</b></div>
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A moment ago I asked the question: <span style="text-decoration: underline;">How do you learn?</span> That’s a REALLY important question to be able to answer.</div>
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The fact is, everyone learns a bit differently. As I said, some people learn by reading. Others by listening. Still others by watching. Some people need to get a little bit of input and then go away and figure the rest of it out on their own. Others need step-by-step instructions and lots of feedback along the way. Some people learn best when they’re in a group or have a partner. Some people learn by experiencing something. Some people learn best through trial and error. Some people learn only on an as-needed basis.</div>
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(By the way, learning does not automatically equate to <span style="text-decoration: underline;">academic</span> learning and classes and grades and degrees. <span style="text-decoration: underline;">Some</span> learning takes place that way. The vast majority of the learning that humans do does not.)</div>
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How do <u>you</u> learn? </div>
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If you’re stuck in a rut and not learning anything, it may be because you’re not doing anything that accommodates your learning style. Why not give yourself a break and do something fun and interesting, the way <span style="text-decoration: underline;">you</span> learn?</div>
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<b><i>Question: </i></b>How important is learning in the field you work in?</div>
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<b>NEXT POST ON</b> <span style="color: #35a2f7; font-family: Syncopate;"><b>BillHendricks.net</b></span>: Five Ways to Identify Your Strengths</div>
Bill Hendrickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04200824393602241927noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8233130999693277623.post-23407800675207455572014-03-08T12:52:00.000-06:002014-03-08T13:07:16.750-06:00Are You Wearing Golden Handcuffs?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-size: 14px;">They say every person has their price. I guess that must be true, because countless people stay in a job they hate for only one reason—the money. Is that the case for you?</span><br />
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A woman came to see me once who worked in media sales. Her position sounded like a really nice job with high pay and a lot of perks. But as soon as she sat down in my office she blurted out, “I’ve <span style="text-decoration: underline;">got</span> to find a new job, because the one I’m in is killing me!”</div>
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I felt sad for her. So I asked, “Why don’t you quit?”</div>
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“Oh, I have quit,” she replied. “I’ve quit three times.”</div>
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That definitely raised my eyebrows. “Three times? Why do you keep going back?”</div>
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“Because every time I quit, they beg me to stay and offer me more money.”</div>
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I thought to myself, “What a perverse form of slavery!” That lady was wearing extremely nice clothes and a lot of expensive jewelry—including a set of golden handcuffs.</div>
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But she is far from alone. Countless people keep working at a job they can’t stand only—and I mean <span style="text-decoration: underline;">only—</span>because they get paid a lot of money. </div>
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For instance, I think of all the executives and professionals I’ve worked with who are miserable because they’re in a <a href="http://www.billhendricks.net/2013/04/ten-signs-your-job-doesnt-fit-you_8.html" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">bad job-fit</span></a>. They desperately want to move in directions that really fit them, based on their <b><a href="http://www.thegiftednesscenter.com/what-is-giftedness2" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">giftedness</span></a></b>. But they feel they can’t because they’ve taken on a lifestyle that involves a huge mortgage, private schools for the kids, and toys for the spouse and family. To suddenly take a pay cut would be unthinkable, if not suicidal. </div>
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Or rather homicidal: I’ve had men say, “Bill, my wife would kill me if she thought I was even thinking about getting into another line of work.”</div>
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You see how they are effectively imprisoning their giftedness by choosing to stay in the circumstances they're in.</div>
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<b>Golden Handcuffs Come In Many Forms</b></div>
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A more benign version of golden handcuffs are benefits that can’t be compromised. I’ve heard scores—maybe hundreds—of people say, “I can’t stand my job, but I stay there for the health insurance.” In fact, I once saw a cartoon of two employees on a coffee break at the office vending machine. One of them is saying to the other, “My career doesn’t reflect what my passions are as much as where my insurance is.”</div>
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Obviously health insurance in the United States is in complete and utter flux right now, to say the least. So who knows what it will look like in the future? But quite apart from the effects of the Affordable Care Act, working for someone only to collect health insurance seems like a trap to me.</div>
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And an ironic trap, at that. Stress is a key factor that can contribute to poor health. It can even kill! Yet poor job-fit is one of the key sources of stress. So it’s crazy: a person hates their job so much that they’re getting sick from it, yet they stay at the job to benefit from the health insurance that helps pay for the cost of treating their sickness. Wouldn’t it make more sense to just go find a better-fitting job?</div>
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For many young adults right now, a pernicious set of golden handcuffs can be living at home—especially if your parents have made it comfortable to live at home. </div>
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I totally appreciate why that phenomenon is taking place. The job market is terrible for young adults right now. Some <a href="http://www.newyorkfed.org/newsevents/mediaadvisory/2013/Presentations_06272013.pdf" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">44 percent of recent college graduates in the United States are “underemployed,”</span></a> meaning they have a job, but not one they can live on. So if parents can afford to help their young adult tread water for a while until a decent job comes along, that’s great.</div>
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But accepting generosity always brings a potential snare. In this case, taking the heat off of where you’re going to live can lower your incentive to find a real job. In other words, Mom and Dad can make it too easy. </div>
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At <a href="http://www.thegiftednesscenter.com/" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">The Giftedness Center</span></a>, we've spoken with no end of parents who are totally distressed that their Millennial son or daughter can't figure out their path and get started on it. But the son or daughter feels no such angst because they’ve got a sweet deal living at their parent’s home rent-free. In a peculiar way they, too, are wearing a set of golden handcuffs.</div>
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<b>Is There Any Answer?</b></div>
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I don’t have any genius solutions to the problem of golden handcuffs, and I’m not sure there is one. If I’m describing your situation, you’ll have to be the judge of how to slice the tradeoff between your job satisfaction and your compensation.</div>
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I can, however, offer one ray of hope. Your life has seasons to it, and those seasons change. There may be perfectly good reasons right now why you just have to hang in there and do the best you can to contend with a bad job situation. But odds are those reasons won’t be in play forever. </div>
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The day will inevitably come when you have options. <span style="color: #42a5f1;"><b>You can begin </b></span><span style="color: #42a5f1; text-decoration: underline;"><b>now</b></span><span style="color: #42a5f1;"><b> to consider what option you’d like to pursue when that day comes. So start </b></span><span style="color: #42a5f1; text-decoration: underline;"><b>now</b></span><span style="color: #42a5f1;"><b> to create a vision for your life—based on your giftedness—and begin planning and working toward that vision. </b></span>That way, when you’re finally “paroled” from the prison of a job you can’t stand, you’ll already have some momentum underway toward a life that truly taps the best of who you are.</div>
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Life is short. Don’t wait to start finding and following your purpose!</div>
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<b><i>Question: </i></b>What are some other kinds of golden handcuffs that you can think of?</div>
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<b style="font-size: 14px;">NEXT POST ON</b><span style="font-size: 14px;"> </span><span style="color: #35a2f7; font-family: Syncopate; font-size: 14px;"><b>BillHendricks.net</b></span><span style="font-size: 14px;">:</span> Whatever you learn, learn to LEARN</div>
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Bill Hendrickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04200824393602241927noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8233130999693277623.post-53092585037422923572014-01-30T18:32:00.001-06:002014-01-30T18:38:07.745-06:00Top 10 Reasons That May Be Keeping You From Finding The Job You Really Want<br />
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You’ve searched and searched and searched for that ideal job. Nonetheless, it keeps eluding you. Could one of these ten factors be why?</div>
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Many people set out to find a job that genuinely fits their <b><a href="http://www.thegiftednesscenter.com/what-is-giftedness2" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">giftedness</span></a></b>. So why do so many of them fall short of that objective? </div>
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In this guest post, <b><a href="http://www.thegiftednesscenter.com/our-team/" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">Bev Godby</span></a></b> lists ten possibilities for why you may be sabotaging your job-search without even realizing it. Note that Bev is especially aware of the challenges facing twenty-somethings looking for work. So if you’re in that demographic, her observations will have double importance for you.</div>
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<b style="color: #3ba4f4; font-size: 18px;">#10. You’re waiting for the ideal job to knock at your front door.</b></div>
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You have to realize that finding a <b><a href="http://www.billhendricks.net/2013/09/how-do-you-know-youre-in-right-job.html" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">good job-fit</span></a></b> requires commitment and a willingness to drive the distance to get there. That “perfect” job won’t just show up! Never think for one minute that just knowing your giftedness is enough. While that helps you get a much clearer picture of the destination you’re trying to get to, you still have to work the job-search process to successfully arrive there.</div>
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<b>#9. You’re working the job-search process only when you feel like it.</b></div>
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If you expect to find a job that works well for you, you need to get after it <u>every day</u>. Wake up in the morning as if you’re working at a full-time job for a company called You, Inc. The number-one priority of You, Inc. is: <b>what must I do </b><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><b>today</b></span><b> to make my goal a reality?</b> That perspective allows you to see the unmistakable connection between your diligence and the progress you make.</div>
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<b>#8. You’re not meeting with people who could help you.</b></div>
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Research has shown that at any given moment you are only one or two degrees of separation away from a person who could open a door for you to a valuable work connection. But you have to put yourself in opportunity’s path, by doing <b><a href="http://www.keepandshare.com/doc4/22230/the-informational-interview-pdf-446k?da=y" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">informational interviews</span></a></b> and then following up on promising leads, as well as continuously generating new contacts.</div>
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<b>#7. You’re letting your past or current work status make you feel defeated.</b></div>
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Don’t define yourself by whether you currently have a job or not. God has intentionally placed you <span style="text-decoration: underline;">here and now</span> for this very space and time. So the question you need to ask is: am I currently pursuing a path that is allowing the <span style="text-decoration: underline;">best</span> of who I am to be seen and used well? To accept a life that involves less than that is to settle for mediocrity and a diminished vision. Yes, there may be many days in the job-search process when the needle doesn’t seem to budge. But don’t pay attention to that—pay attention to how far you’ve come.</div>
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<b>#6. You’re thinking and/or acting as if you are an exceptional talent or special case. </b></div>
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You cannot shortcut the job-search process. While undoubtedly there will be people around you who seem to just sprint to the finish or have a gilded path, you must be <span style="text-decoration: underline;">you</span> and focus on taking responsibility for your life and your portion. You can’t expect the world to take you more seriously than you take yourself, nor can you ever expect anyone else to do your hard work for you. An appropriate sense of humility and gratitude communicates more powerfully than any words or résumé.</div>
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<b>#5. You haven’t come to grips with the life traps that are holding you back.</b></div>
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It has been well said that a person can’t change what they don’t acknowledge. Whatever personal demons are blocking you from finding that great-fitting job, recognize them and be diligent about changing those defeating patterns. For instance, if you’re staying in a less-than-ideal place because it just seems (and feels) easier than doing the harder work of expecting and demanding more, realize that you are <span style="text-decoration: underline;">choosing</span> that disappointing outcome. Or perhaps you’re allowing fear or diminished expectations to take over your thinking. In that case, challenge yourself to reset your mental dialogue. </div>
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<b>#4. You’re majoring in negative thinking, rather than positive effort.</b></div>
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Discouragement is inevitable in the job-search. Indeed, some days it may be all you see. But if you change the lens through which you’re looking at your situation, you can be reminded once again of the truth that brings encouragement—that you were made for this very space and time, a uniquely designed person with a contribution to make that no one else <span style="text-decoration: underline;">can</span> make. Why waste another day on the sidelines of life as a spectator, when you can move toward the opportunity that has your name on it—the one that’s waiting for you to claim it?</div>
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<b>#3. You’re not focused on where you’re headed.</b></div>
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Before you can make intentional movement toward meaningful work, you have to commit to a particular path. The process of <span style="text-decoration: underline;">de-ciding</span> is critical to this step. That is, you must narrow your search to a manageable few options. Even though your giftedness likely suggests any number of possible career paths, you can only strategically go down <span style="text-decoration: underline;">one</span> path at a time. That focus becomes impossible if too many options are in play. Without that sharpened vision, you’re liable to just wander around.</div>
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<b>#2. You’ve foreclosed on too many options.</b></div>
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While focus is essential to a successful outcome, beware of the opposite extreme: boxing yourself into one, single concept that may not even be a viable option. Be careful to leave some alternatives if you don’t get accepted to a particular graduate program, for instance, or you seem to be hitting a wall in some chosen direction.</div>
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<b>#1. You have yet to truly believe the “good truth” about you. </b></div>
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You only get one singular life, and your giftedness is immutable. Good things will invariably happen when you follow the traces of your motivational pattern. That’s because you are literally blazing a trail of glory seen <span style="text-decoration: underline;">only</span> in you, and needed in this world for <span style="text-decoration: underline;">this</span> space and time. Don’t ever dismiss or devalue what <span style="text-decoration: underline;">you</span> have to offer this world. It may take time and a concerted effort to express your value proposition convincingly, and where it will be celebrated and used well. But what in your life could be worth more than that?</div>
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<b><i><span style="color: purple;">Question: </span></i></b>Can you think of any other factors that might be sabotaging your search for a great job-fit?</div>
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<b>NEXT POST ON</b> <span style="color: #35a2f7; font-family: Syncopate;"><b>BillHendricks.net</b></span>: Are You Wearing Golden Handcuffs?</div>
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Bill Hendrickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04200824393602241927noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8233130999693277623.post-78367935495153114212014-01-25T15:04:00.000-06:002014-01-25T16:32:46.760-06:00Thirteen Things to Check Out Before You Take a Job<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgi47FdP9sGDSmV7SKUCxAMPVAMuW8mIWGlGKOrHQDg9nQQhZwOBcz6YmXNguJnZL0fvuaWL-YAqBrplXB4KFtWAa6o0lFlWWiPIBLxbouNfdp45HqSvLN6uX8EX0aIQhzK0wm1sjQn3uPZ/s1600/Before+You+Take+the+Job+jpeg.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgi47FdP9sGDSmV7SKUCxAMPVAMuW8mIWGlGKOrHQDg9nQQhZwOBcz6YmXNguJnZL0fvuaWL-YAqBrplXB4KFtWAa6o0lFlWWiPIBLxbouNfdp45HqSvLN6uX8EX0aIQhzK0wm1sjQn3uPZ/s1600/Before+You+Take+the+Job+jpeg.jpg" height="391" width="400" /></a></div>
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So you’ve been offered a job. That’s great! But before you accept, ask yourself these key questions. If not, the day will come when you wish you had.</div>
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I’ve worked with lots of people who have quit a job and are looking for a new job. When I ask them why they quit, they’ll explain the circumstances. Then time and again they’ll say, “I wish I had thought about that before I ever went to work there!”</div>
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Indeed. A great deal of trouble could be avoided in our careers if only we would slow down and think about the job we’re about to step into. </div>
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But many job seekers become hopelessly optimistic the moment someone offers them a job or a promotion. They’re like teenagers feeling puppy love. They exaggerate the good parts of the job, perhaps even imagining fantasies about what the job will be like. Meanwhile they overlook or simply ignore the less appealing aspects of the position. Then later, when the job proves disappointing, they moan, “I wish I had thought about that before I went to work there!”</div>
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<b>When I work with employers who are hiring, I always remind them: the best and least painful time to fire someone is before you even</b><b> hire</b><b> them. The same logic applies to anyone considering a new job: the best and least painful time to quit a job is before you take it.</b></div>
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Here are a baker’s dozen of questions to consider <span style="text-decoration: underline;">before</span> you sign up for a job:</div>
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<b>1. Who will I be reporting to? </b></div>
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The number one people quit their job is because they can’t stand their boss (<a href="http://www.billhendricks.net/2013/08/five-things-bosses-do-that-drive-people.html" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">if you’re a manager, you should pay attention to that</span></a>). But my question is: did you not explore ahead of time what your relationship with that old boss was going to be like? I’m amazed that people knowingly and apparently willingly step into jobs where they’ll have to work under someone they already know they can’t stand. Why do that?!</div>
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The truth, of course, is that relatively few managers are actually “bad” managers or “bad” people. Yeah, there are a few incompetent and/or dysfunctional bosses out there. But in the main, the person you’ll be working for is just like you: they’re trying to do a job and earn a living, and part of their job is to manage you.</div>
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So the thing you have to ask is: what is my new boss’s management style? Do they tend to be hands-on or hands-off? Or are they more collaborative and likely to treat you as a peer? How often will they expect to interact with you? What will you be able to expect from them? How do they tend to communicate?</div>
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Once you’ve gathered some insights into your prospective boss, ask yourself: how well will I function under this person’s management style?</div>
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<b>2. Who are the people I’ll be teaming with?</b></div>
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The people you work alongside will be like your second family. You’re going to spend a lot of time around them. And their work is going to affect your work.</div>
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In light of that, you might think the question you should ask is: do I like these people. But that’s actually beside the point. “Liking” your coworkers is nice if you can get it, but from the standpoint of work, it’s a bit of a luxury.</div>
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The better question to ask is: what will it be like to interact with these people? Are they competent? Do they take the work seriously? Do they appear to be focused on the task at hand, or are they playing silly games behind the scenes? Do they seem to respect each other? Do they seem to function as a team? If (or more likely when) your job is on the line, can you trust them to be there for you? Can you tell anything about how well they communicate with each other?</div>
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Lots more I could say about your prospective coworkers. Just consider whether those people look like they can help you be the best <span style="text-decoration: underline;">you</span> can be in your work, and vice versa.</div>
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<b>3. What’s the essence of this job? </b></div>
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In other words, what’s the <span style="text-decoration: underline;">main thing</span> the employer and the supervisor will want you to do in this job? </div>
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That main thing may or may not be spelled out in the job description. I discovered that once working with a guy who had opened up a restaurant. He was advertising for a marketing director, and he asked me to look over the job description. It was pretty lengthy and wordy, and I thought it was too general. Finally I just asked him, “So what will this person have to do to make you happy?”</div>
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Without a moment’s hesitation he shot back, “To put butts in seats! That’s what I want to see. Butts in seats.”</div>
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What will you have to do to make your prospective employer and supervisor happy? Until you’ve nailed down the answer to that question, I’d be very hesitant to sign up for the job.</div>
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<b>4. What am I actually going to be doing on a day-to-day basis?</b></div>
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I find that lots of people pursue jobs and careers based on perceptions about the work (often gleaned from stereotypes) rather than any firsthand knowledge about the work itself.</div>
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The best source on that is someone who actually does (or has done) the job you’re considering. How difficult can it be to buy that person a Starbucks and pick their brain about their experience (that’s called informational interviewing, and you can find out more about that <a href="http://www.keepandshare.com/doc4/22230/the-informational-interview-pdf-446k?da=y" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">here</span></a>)? You’ll know pretty quickly how well the job is going to fit you.</div>
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To go into a job having no idea what that job will actually entail on a daily basis is just foolish. Shame on you if you end up hating it!</div>
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<b>5. How is success measured in this job? And how is it rewarded?</b></div>
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Earlier I encouraged you to figure out what it will take to make your prospective employer and boss happy. This question is similar, except that here you want to put a metric on that success factor.</div>
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To use the illustration of the restaurant owner above, he rather crassly stated success as “butts in seats.” That’s fine. If I was interviewing for his marketing position, however I’d ask, “How many butts in seats would you like?”</div>
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The obvious answer is, as many as I can find. But it would help to define some realistic expectations for that. Say he’s now got 100 patrons a night, on average, showing up to his restaurant. What is his target? 150 patrons per night? 200? 250? 1,000? Within what timeframe? A month? Six months? A year?</div>
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Neither you nor your new boss will ever be able to determine whether you’re succeeding unless you can measure your success.</div>
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Now suppose I hire on and knock myself out bringing new patrons into the restaurant, and the owner is thrilled with my performance. Aside from my regular salary and compensation, is there any way my efforts will be recognized or rewarded—for example, through a bonus, or an incentive vacation, or an employee-of-the-year award, or whatever?</div>
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Not everyone is motivated by recognition. But probably 65 percent of people are. If you’re one of those people, it seems pretty important to know ahead of time if and how your hard work will be recognized once you’ve signed up for the job. Otherwise, you’re liable to feel slighted and disappointed when you do great work, but it goes unnoticed.</div>
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<b>6. What’s the history of this job? </b></div>
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Every job has a story. If it’s a job that’s been around for a long time, lots of people have probably done it. If it’s a brand new job, the story is that whoever is the first to do it—presumably you—will be on a giant learning curve.</div>
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What’s the story of the job you’re looking at? Why does it exist? Where did it originate? Who has held it before? What was their history in doing the job? What did the previous holder of this job do well? What did they do poorly? How is this job regarded by others in the organization? By others outside the organization?</div>
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Some jobs are plumbs, others are prunes. It almost doesn’t matter who has held the job. The job itself seems either agreeable or odious. Be especially careful about the job for which there’s been a lot of turnover. It’s highly likely that that job is poorly designed, or that the expectations for it are unrealistic. </div>
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Some jobs are just snakebit. They end up hurting the person who does the job, no matter how hard or how well they work.</div>
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I’m not saying to walk away from a job just because it has a history of being difficult. For some people, taking on a tough assignment and succeeding is exactly the right job for them. But go into it knowing what and who has preceded you.</div>
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<b>7. What’s the environment like at this job? </b></div>
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When you take a job, you’re planting yourself in an environment. A plant can survive in various environments, but it only thrives under certain conditions. So ask yourself: what conditions will I be operating under?</div>
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I’ll never understand the person who comes home after three weeks at their new job and complains, “I can’t stand the open office environment at work! There’s no privacy.”</div>
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Oh, really? Like, you’re just now figuring out that an open office format is not conducive for you to do your best work? What were you thinking when you interviewed for the job and saw that it was going to be in an open office, and yet took the job anyway?</div>
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You need to go back and review all of the times in your life when you were doing an activity that you enjoyed doing and feel you did well (if you’d like a formal exercise for doing that, <a href="http://www.thegiftednesscenter.com/discovering-your-giftednesstitlegyd" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">click here</span></a>). Pay particular attention to the environmental conditions or circumstances in which you were doing those preferred activities.</div>
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Were you outdoors or indoors, or did that matter? Was there a lot of structure, or lots of freedom and flexibility? Were you on your own or teamed up with others? Was there a need or a problem to solve? Were you working on a project with a defined outcome? <a href="http://www.billhendricks.net/2013/03/are-you-goal-oriented-or-vision-oriented.html" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">Were there hard-target goals</span></a>, or was it more <a href="http://www.billhendricks.net/2013/04/are-you-goal-oriented-or-vision_8410.html" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">open-ended and visionary</span></a>? Was there a challenge you were trying to meet? Was there competition? Was it about making money, or some other objective?</div>
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Your motivation will only thrive under certain conditions. Indeed, certain conditions are often <u>vital</u> to a person’s functioning. In the absence of those conditions, the person’s motivation will start to whither. It may ultimately die out altogether.</div>
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So ask yourself: will this particular workplace environment provide the circumstances I need to thrive in my work?</div>
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<b>8. What’s the culture of the organization?</b></div>
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Culture has to do with the values, language, and tribal customs that a group of people share. In simple terms, culture is “how things are around here.”</div>
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One reason people get into trouble when they accept a new job is that they’ve never been outside the culture they are most familiar with. It’s what happened to me when I moved from Dallas to Boston in 1972 to attend college (sight unseen, sad to say). Who knew that Boston in late September would be 45 degrees cooler than Dallas? Or that “regular” coffee means coffee with cream and sugar already added? Or that people don’t ask how you’re doing? Needless to say, I went through culture shock.</div>
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A lot of people go through culture shock when they take a new position. Suddenly they get hit with new values that govern how things operate, and a whole new language and different ways of communicating. That’s especially true if they change sectors of the economy, such as <a href="http://www.billhendricks.net/2013/04/five-things-to-know-before-you-go-work.html" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">moving from the for-profit world to nonprofit work</span></a>.</div>
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Whole books have been written about corporate culture. My counsel is to use informational interviews (see #4 above) and site visits to learn as much as you can about your prospective organization’s culture before you accept a position there. You want to know the relative match or mis-match between your own values and workstyle and those of the organization you will be joining.</div>
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<b>9. What is the dysfunction of this organization? </b></div>
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The assumption behind this question is that <span style="text-decoration: underline;">all</span> organizations have dysfunction. If you find one that doesn’t, don’t join it, or you’ll end up making it dysfunctional.</div>
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Dysfunction can range from operations and communications that are merely ineffective to those that are downright pathological. For example, the organization where every decision has to go through someone at the top. Or the organization that spends most of its time in crisis mode. Or the organization that uses newer, younger people to do all the heavy lifting, while the old-timers sit back and enjoy the lion’s share of the profits. Or the organization that once had greatness, but is now resting on its laurels and watching the value of its brand dissipate.</div>
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A special case is the entrepreneurial organization. If you go to work for an entrepreneur, realize ahead of time that the venture is an extension of that entrepreneur. So whatever the entrepreneur’s dysfunctions are will manifest themselves through his/her organization and its culture. </div>
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I can’t tell you to walk away from a dysfunctional organization, or else you could never work for anybody—even yourself! But to be forewarned is to be forearmed. If you have a sense for how your prospective employer fails to handle communication, conflicts, and workflow effectively, you can at least calibrate your expectations—and also think about ways in which you can perhaps introduce healthier practices to the venture.</div>
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<b>10. When I walk around this organization, what do I see? </b></div>
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This question is similar to the earlier question about the environment (#7). But the idea here is to let your subjective impressions have free reign. When you walk into the place where you would be working, how does it feel? What do you notice? What do you see people doing? What’s the atmosphere? What does the place look like? What strikes you the most about the place and space and what’s going on there?</div>
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Then having gathered up all those impressions, ask yourself: is this a picture that appeals to me?</div>
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When I sent in the paperwork to attend college, they asked me if I had a dorm preference. I checked a box that said no. Big mistake! If I had bothered to visit the school ahead of time, I would have discovered that some rooms were air-conditioned and others weren’t. Coming from Texas, it was a huge problem for me to start out living in a dorm room on a busy street with no air conditioning!</div>
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Unfortunately, many people do a similar thing with their jobs. They ignore the simple details that end up making a huge difference in their satisfaction at work (let alone their satisfaction <span style="text-decoration: underline;">with</span> their work). It could be the paint on the walls. The lighting. The heat. The quiet. The way the cafeteria or snack area looks. The parking. The commute. Even the coffee.</div>
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Again some people are more adaptable than others, and some people are more sensitive to their surroundings than others. Just pay attention to what your sensitivities are. You’re going to spend a lot of time at work. You might as well make it a place you can see yourself working in.</div>
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<b>11. How do my spouse and family feel about this job and this employer?</b></div>
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They use canaries to tell if the air in a mineshaft is going bad. Well, oftentimes your spouse and family are your canaries telling you that a job is not for you. No, they’re not infallible. But simply as a point of personal responsibility, you owe it to them to listen carefully to their opinion of a job <span style="text-decoration: underline;">before</span> you sign up for it. After all, they’re going to be affected by how that job affects you. They’re the ones who will have to put up with your moods and complaints and stress level if the job turns out to be a poor fit.</div>
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I’ve known employers who insist that their spouse meet a candidate they are thinking of hiring into a key position. If the spouse ends up having concerns, the person doesn’t get hired. Period. Is that fair? I don’t know, but those employers swear by that method.</div>
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Well, I guess the same thing could apply in reverse—a spouse and family having veto power over a job you’re considering. Yes, conceivably they might cause you to end up walking away from a good deal. But if they have your best interests at heart, I suspect that more often than not they will prove to be a good sounding board for you, and will see things in a prospective job that may not have occurred to you.</div>
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<b>12. What’s the “trajectory” for this job? </b></div>
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In other words, where does it go? What does it lead to? What’s your future if you do well in it?</div>
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<span style="color: #42a5f1;"><b>One of the greatest mistakes people make when accepting a new position is that they only look at the job in front of them, and don’t consider how that job fits into a vision for their life. </b></span>(Oftentimes that’s because they don’t have a vision for their life. Big mistake!) Every job you have in your career should fit into a bigger picture of where your life is headed. I’m not saying to simply use a job as a stepping stone. No, take the job and acquit yourself well in it. Do good work. Add value.</div>
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But where will your hard work in that job take you? Is there a ladder for you to move up? Is there a natural progression, that if you do this job well, you’re likely to position yourself for greater responsibility or new opportunities or a bigger and more interesting challenge?</div>
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That sighing sound you hear in the elevator every Monday morning is, in part, the sound of people's motivational wheels spinning like tires stuck in the mud. Of people who are going nowhere. They’re just marking time in a job that lost its motivational appeal long ago. But it's because they have no vision for their life. They’re working and getting paid. But it’s “just a job.”</div>
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You can avoid that by reflecting on how the job you’re considering fits into the larger journey of your life.</div>
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<b>13. Why am I taking </b><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><b>this</b></span><b> job?</b></div>
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Notice that the emphasis here is not on the “why,” but on “<span style="text-decoration: underline;">this</span> job.” Why this particular job?</div>
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A common answer is: “Because this is the only job I’ve been offered.” Fair enough. But if that’s actually the answer, is that a compelling enough reason to take the job? If so, that feels a lot like settling, to me.</div>
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I know full well that job-seekers can quickly become desperate people. (That’s one of the reasons why you should never, ever undertake a job search on your own, by yourself, as a solo activity.) But desperation is a thief. It can trick you into making rash decisions that get a steady paycheck going again, but inflict a heavy opportunity cost tied to the road not taken.</div>
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But whether or not you’re desperate as a job-seeker, the question remains: why this particular job? The idea here is that just as you’re going to work at a job, you want the job to work for you. That is, you want your job to matter, to have a point to it, to express something of who you are. You’re going to try and put the best of your efforts into your work (you are, that is, if indeed the job <span style="color: blue;"><a href="http://www.billhendricks.net/2013/09/how-do-you-know-youre-in-right-job.html" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">fits</span></a> </span>you; <a href="http://www.billhendricks.net/2013/04/ten-signs-your-job-doesnt-fit-you_8.html" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">if it doesn't, you motivation and energy will plummet</span></a>).</div>
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So the question to ask ahead of time is: will this job allow me to do that? Is this job a good fit with who I am, and what I have to offer, and how I add value, and what matters to me? Is it worthy of me devoting even a day of this brief life I’ve been given?</div>
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<b>13a. Let me put it this way. . .</b></div>
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If you just take a job, any old job, and don’t think it through ahead of time, it’s almost certain that sooner or later you’re going to leave that job dissatisfied. If you then come see me, I’m probably going to ask you why you quit. And you’ll give me the reason. And after you do you’ll probably sigh, “I wish I had thought about that before I ever went to work there!”</div>
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Now I’m going to commiserate with you and then try to help you find and follow a path that works for you. But as you can see, I’d rather we were able to avoid that conversation altogether!</div>
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<b><i>Question: </i></b>If you’ve ever disliked a job so much that you quit, what is it that you wished you had thought about <span style="text-decoration: underline;">before</span> you took that job?</div>
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<b>NEXT POST ON</b> <span style="color: #35a2f7; font-family: Syncopate;"><b>BillHendricks.net</b></span>: Guest post by <b>Bev Godby</b>: The Top Ten Reasons That Keep You From Finding the Job You <span style="text-decoration: underline;">Really</span> Want</div>
Bill Hendrickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04200824393602241927noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8233130999693277623.post-45402246019625807542014-01-21T09:53:00.000-06:002014-01-23T09:17:24.053-06:00Which Is More Important—Being or Doing?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6LyeY71TvHFeNjr5xsprHKIZWvU06VfLEzHLPx5QAkJLE5Pz7Wv7-WeYyz5WXYopk-Lyfi-XJkdeajRWFd1Z_F7wOZo-58tGZehdX1O_isM8Fa_km1px-0Pe7hpAFD1Scz0qionsdZzeR/s1600/being+vs.+doing+jpeg.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6LyeY71TvHFeNjr5xsprHKIZWvU06VfLEzHLPx5QAkJLE5Pz7Wv7-WeYyz5WXYopk-Lyfi-XJkdeajRWFd1Z_F7wOZo-58tGZehdX1O_isM8Fa_km1px-0Pe7hpAFD1Scz0qionsdZzeR/s1600/being+vs.+doing+jpeg.jpg" height="247" width="400" /></a></div>
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A popular notion nowadays holds that who you <u>are</u> matters more than what you <u>do</u>. That has a nice sound to it. But are things really that simple?</div>
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In an age of egregious violations of moral and ethical standards, it’s natural to focus on the issue of character and its role in how we conduct our lives. Nothing wrong with that! <span style="text-decoration: underline;">Without question, character matters.</span> </div>
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Indeed, giftedness without character is like an uncontained fire. It will certainly produce spectacular heat—<a href="http://www.billhendricks.net/2013/04/the-dark-side-of-giftedness.html" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">but in a very destructive way.</span></a></div>
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So one’s inner life counts. It counts a great deal!</div>
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But unfortunately, some people swing the pendulum too far in the opposite direction. They act as if <span style="text-decoration: underline;">all</span> that counts is what’s on the inside: “It’s not what you accomplish that counts, but what sort of person you are,” they say.</div>
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I disagree. Not because who you are doesn’t count, but because being <span style="text-decoration: underline;">versus</span> doing is a false dichotomy. The truth is, humans are “be-ers” <span style="text-decoration: underline;">and</span> “do-ers” at one and the same time. That’s what the phenomenon of <span style="color: blue;"><a href="http://www.thegiftednesscenter.com/what-is-giftedness2/" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: blue;">giftedness</span></b></a> </span>reveals. It shows us that <span style="color: #42a5f1;"><b>“who you are” is meaningless apart from “what you do,” because “what you do” expresses “who you are.”</b></span></div>
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Have you ever heard someone say, “We’re called human <span style="text-decoration: underline;">be</span>ings, not human <span style="text-decoration: underline;">do</span>ings”? That’s clever. But it’s nonsense! It’s impossible to know who someone <span style="text-decoration: underline;">is</span> until they <span style="text-decoration: underline;">do</span> something.</div>
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I mean, you can insist all day long that you’re a kind person. But it’s only when I see you pausing to help a confused elderly gentleman use his cell phone that I have any basis to conclude, “Wow, she’s certainly kind.” Conversely, if you drive like a maniac and cut people off, then I will conclude, “No, she’s really not kind at all.”</div>
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Either way, doing expresses one’s being. </div>
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<b>The Power of Story</b></div>
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For proof of that, just pick up any biography. Biographies by their nature attempt to answer a “being” question: <span style="text-decoration: underline;">Who is (or was) this person?</span> </div>
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Biographies do that by telling stories that show the person in action—what they do and how they do it. By that means, we come to understand how the person sees life, what matters to them, how they handle conflict or adversity, what things they take advantage of, what their strengths are, what characteristics they lack, who they need around them in order to flourish, and of course what they accomplish.</div>
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Biographies are exceedingly powerful at getting to the heart of what a human being is all about. That’s because the best way to understand a person is through story. Every human is an actor in a dynamic narrative that is playing out over time. So if we want to understand any given person, the best way to do it is to learn their story.</div>
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That’s why the best way to understand your giftedness is through your story. Except that instead of just looking at things that have happened to you, the secret is to look at things you yourself have <span style="text-decoration: underline;">done</span>—especially the activities you’ve <span style="text-decoration: underline;">enjoyed</span> doing.</div>
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I’ve created an exercise for doing that called <b><a href="http://www.thegiftednesscenter.com/discovering-your-giftednesstitlegyd" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">Discovering Your Giftedness: A Step-by-Step Guide</span></a></b>, available at no cost on The Giftedness Center’s website. If you’ve been struggling with the question of being—<span style="text-decoration: underline;">who am I?</span>—working through that process will give you some valuable insights that you’ll never gain by naval-gazing.</div>
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<b><i><span style="color: magenta;">Question: </span></i></b>Imagine someone writing a biography about your life. What would a reader conclude about who you “are”?</div>
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<b>Next post on Bill Hendricks.net: </b>Thirteen Things to Check Out <span style="text-decoration: underline;">Before</span> You Take a Job</div>
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Bill Hendrickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04200824393602241927noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8233130999693277623.post-1463046447905520532014-01-08T14:40:00.000-06:002014-01-08T14:43:10.386-06:00Nothing Is Ever Wasted<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Broken, shattered glass destined for the dump. How could any worthy work of art come from that? Watch this video to find out!</div>
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Countless people languish under the impression that the terrible things that have happened to them or the terrible things they have done will always preclude them from living a beautiful life. But it isn’t so. At least, it doesn’t have to be so.</div>
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Watch this amazing video from <b><a href="http://bellaforteglass.com/" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">Bella Forte Glass Studio</span></a></b> in Edmond, Oklahoma that turns discarded shards of glass into magnificent works of art. It calls the process <b><a href="http://vimeo.com/58047095" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">Redento Raffinato</span></a></b> (“redeemed elegance”).</div>
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The finished pieces are inspiring metaphors that illustrate how nothing in our lives is ever really wasted—even the bad things that happen—unless we <span style="text-decoration: underline;">choose</span> to waste them.</div>
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<b><i>Question: </i></b>What in your past needs to be “redeemed” in order to free you up to live a beautiful life?</div>
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<b>NEXT POST ON</b> <span style="color: #35a2f7; font-family: Syncopate;"><b>BillHendricks.net</b></span>: Which Is More Important—Being or Doing?</div>
Bill Hendrickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04200824393602241927noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8233130999693277623.post-18826930879341923332013-12-20T15:03:00.000-06:002014-01-21T10:25:54.682-06:00The Power and the Perils of Teams<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Remember the Tower of Babel? It was the biggest building project of its time. And it almost succeeded—until it didn’t. Babel serves as a cautionary tale for our own times.</div>
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I think of teams and organizations like toolboxes. In a toolbox you have lots of different tools. Each of them is designed to accomplish a particular task really well. But most jobs require more than one tool. In fact, the more complex the task, the more tools are required. </div>
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Now that’s the genius of the modern corporation. The collective strengths of an organization quantitatively multiply what any one person could accomplish on their own. </div>
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For example, think of how many people combine their talents to create something as powerful, useful, and beautiful as a BMW, an iPad, a Golden Gate Bridge, or a Cirque du Solei performance. No single individual, no matter how gifted, could produce stuff like that.</div>
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Even relatively small teams can achieve blockbuster results and create unprecedented value. Consider the team that started Facebook. Or the team of 70 medical personnel, led by Dr. Ben Carson, that was the first to successfully separate conjoined twins in 1987. Or a team of Navy Seals. </div>
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Whatever the potential of a single person’s <b><a href="https://thegiftednesscenter.squarespace.com/what-is-giftedness2" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">giftedness</span></a></b> (which is enormous), the power of combined giftedness is almost beyond imagining.</div>
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And humanity has intuitively known that almost from the beginning. </div>
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<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tower_of_Babel" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">Babel</span></a> was a great building project of the ancient world in which humans joined together around a common mission statement: “Come, let us build ourselves a city, with a tower that reaches to the heavens, so that we may make a name for ourselves; otherwise we will be scattered over the face of the whole earth.”</div>
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More than just creating a structure, this group was creating an <span style="text-decoration: underline;">organization</span>. Everyone was unified around a shared vision and a common purpose. And everyone had a role.</div>
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Indeed, the concept of the organization was so impressive that it drew the attention and commentary of God: “The Lord came down to see the city and the tower the people were building. The Lord said, ‘If as one people speaking the same language they have begun to do this, then nothing they plan to do will be impossible for them.’”</div>
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Nothing will be impossible! Such is the power of a team.</div>
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<b>There’s just one small catch: everyone on the team has to speak the same language. </b></div>
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At Babel, everyone started out speaking the same language. Literally. Contrary to the Lord’s instruction to “fill the earth,” the people of that era had stayed put. Why? Out of fear? Laziness? Lack of leadership? Defiance? The Genesis narrative does not say.</div>
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Whatever the reason, the Lord confused the languages of the workers and the project immediately ground to a halt.</div>
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<span style="color: black;">So it is today. </span><b>When workers “speak the same language,” good stuff tends to happen, because they understand each other. Trust is built. People feel heard and appreciated. Vital information is exchanged. Values get reinforced. Misunderstandings get resolved. There’s a better use of everyone’s energy because each tool knows when to make his/her contribution.</b></div>
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But of course, many of us work in organizations where we <span style="text-decoration: underline;">don’t</span> speak the same language. In fact, we discover that every tool speaks its own language! Hammers speak the bold language of hammering. Screwdrivers speak with the steady, plodding, circular logic of screwdriving. Saws speak the rough dialect of sawing. And drills whine away in their native drilling.</div>
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What language do you speak? How about the people you work with? My own view is that 90 percent of the conflicts people have with one another start with how they are wired. That wiring predisposes them to speak a certain language. </div>
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The result is that two people can be working on the same assignment, but because of their wiring, one of them sees it one way, the other sees it another way. So when they start to talk about the work, confusion and misunderstanding are almost inevitable (unless they just happen to speak a very similar language; that can happen, but it’s rare).</div>
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I don’t have all the answers for avoiding workplace conflicts. I certainly reject any thought that we humans can ever be made to speak just one language. That would be a mistake. We need a multitude of perspectives and strengths.</div>
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But one thing would help. The next time you find yourself in a disagreement with a coworker, step back and ask: <span style="text-decoration: underline;">What language is this person speaking?</span> It may be a totally unintelligible language to you. But that doesn’t make what the other person is saying “wrong.” It just makes it different than what you would say. </div>
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In truth, the other person is probably saying something you absolutely need to hear and pay attention to. But you’ll miss it if you dismiss them as unintelligible (or worse).</div>
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That’s what the people at Babel did. In frustration, they walked away from each other—the way a lot of people do today. Apparently they never considered the more productive option of translating their different perspectives. </div>
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If you can decode what your teammates are trying to express, you’ll unlock the power of the team. That’s huge! In fact, it’s decisive, because when you’ve got a team committed to a shared vision and a common purpose, and all speaking the same language—nothing will be impossible!</div>
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(One resource for more on the idea of people speaking different languages is Gary Chapman and Paul White’s book, <b><i><a href="http://www.appreciationatwork.com/" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">The 5 Languages of Appreciation In the Workplace</span></a></i></b>.)</div>
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<b><i><span style="color: magenta;">Question: </span></i></b>What’s a situation you’ve experienced where a misunderstanding all boiled down to a confusion of “languages” between you and the other person?</div>
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<b>NEXT POST ON</b> <span style="color: #35a2f7; font-family: Syncopate;"><b>BillHendricks.net</b></span>: Nothing Is Ever Wasted</div>
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Bill Hendrickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04200824393602241927noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8233130999693277623.post-37607910029956709232013-12-16T19:44:00.000-06:002014-01-21T10:24:58.635-06:00What’s Wrong With Waiting Tables?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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There’s an old saying that “everyone should wait tables at least once in their life.” I don’t disagree. But there are only three reasons for waiting tables. Two of them are legitimate. But the third one (and the most common) is highly suspect.</div>
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Almost no one starts out in their ideal job. A Mozart or Einstein comes along perhaps once in a generation, if that.</div>
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The rest of us have to find our path. Which means that most of us will sooner or later (probably sooner) end up waiting tables, either literally or figuratively.</div>
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A lot of famous and successful people literally started out as waiters and waitresses: Kelsey Grammer, Sandra Bullock, Lady Gaga, Mariah Carey, Suze Orman, just to name a few.</div>
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And Robin Williams scooped ice-cream.</div>
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Jennifer Aniston was a waitress and then a bike messenger. </div>
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Julia Roberts worked in a pizzeria and then in a shoe shop.</div>
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Megan Fox dressed up as a banana for her job at a smoothie shop.</div>
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Brad Pitt stood on the street in a chicken costume imploring passers-by to dine at El Pollo Loco restaurant.</div>
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There are many other forms of “waiting tables”:</div>
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J.K. Rowling began her career as a secretary.</div>
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Michelle Pfeiffer worked as a cashier at a grocery store.</div>
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Jon Bon Jovi worked as a janitor.</div>
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Harrison Ford was a carpenter.</div>
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Angelina Jolie started out as a funeral director.</div>
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Colin Powell worked in a baby furniture store in the Bronx.</div>
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Clint Black sold newspaper subscriptions door-to-door.</div>
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Bill Cosby shined shoes and stocked groceries.</div>
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Bono was a gas station attendant.</div>
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Michael Dell washed dishes at a Chinese restaurant.</div>
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Sting taught high school English.</div>
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<span style="color: #1e1e1e;">Madeleine </span>Albright worked in retail.</div>
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Sam Walton started out as a delivery boy.<span style="color: black;"> </span></div>
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Martha Stewart was a stockbroker.</div>
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Pope Francis was a bouncer at a Buenos Aires nightclub.<span style="color: black;"> </span></div>
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Barack Obama worked as a research associate in the financial division of a publishing firm before he became a community organizer.</div>
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You get the point.</div>
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Many lessons can be gained by studying where successful people began and where they’re at today. I would just point out that their stories prove that there is more <b><a href="https://thegiftednesscenter.squarespace.com/what-is-giftedness2" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">giftedness</span></a></b> sitting inside “everyday” people than we can possibly imagine—including you.</div>
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So why don’t we see more of that giftedness? Many reasons. But let’s start with the reality that sooner or later (probably sooner) all of us are going to end up “waiting tables.” That being the case, we discover that there are only three kinds of people who wait tables.</div>
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<b>Some People Wait Tables Because They Are Gifted to the Task</b></div>
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I’ve met a handful of born waitstaff in my life. You know, people who actually thrive on creating the perfect dining experience. They somehow know exactly what I’m looking for in their particular restaurant. </div>
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When I just want a relaxed, ease-into-the-day breakfast, they don’t ask me the twenty canned questions about how my day is going so far and all that. They just show up with the coffee, make sure my eggs are hot off the griddle, and leave me in peace to read my iPad. Yet somehow they’re instantly available when I need something. They just somehow convey that they’re sincerely happy I’ve stopped by.</div>
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Or how about when a colleague and I want to discuss some business over lunch? The world-class waiter is the one who helps us get the ordering out of the way and delivers the meal with the least amount of intrusion, then beats a quick retreat, returning only to re-fill glasses and remove plates. Very professional. Very attentive. Very out-of-the-way. And very happy to have served us.</div>
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And when I’ve got my family out for a special celebration, the gifted waiter puts on a show at the table. S/he quickly figures out who is the honoree, what items will suit each person’s taste, what desserts will most entice, and who should receive the check. You actually believe it when they bid goodbye with the words, “It’s been a pleasure to serve you and your family this evening, Mr. Hendricks.”</div>
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Waitstaff who are truly gifted to the task are the ones who should make a career out of waiting tables. I’ve known several who’ve done just that. They haven’t gotten rich. But then, that’s not really their objective.</div>
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Of course, the principle of doing what you’re gifted to do extends to every other occupation. In every field, whether teaching, finance, sales, accounting, manufacturing, the military, government, or even (and perhaps especially) the funeral industry, our world would be infinitely better off if we had more people working at jobs that actually fit them instead of just paying them.</div>
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<b>Some People Wait Tables Because They Are In Transit</b></div>
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Sometimes you wait tables as a temporary job. You just have to make ends meet while you’re waiting for your ship to come in. Quite a few of the people mentioned above were doing precisely that when they were “waiting tables.”</div>
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I know people who sell houses, work in accounting, do event planning, tutor students, and yes, wait tables and do other “day jobs” while working on a dream they have. That dream can’t support them quite yet, because it takes time to produce genius. But rather than just put their dream on the shelf, they nurse it along after hours. </div>
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Will their dream ever come to fruition? Who knows? There are no guarantees in life. Except for one: it’s guaranteed that nothing happens for the person who does nothing with their dream. Better to wait tables while your true gift matures and awaits the moment of opportunity than to bury it in the ground and complain that the world is cruel. </div>
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<b>Of course, the key for waiting tables while you’re “on the way” to realizing some dream or vision or career goal is to have a dream or vision or career goal in the first place—at least, one that fits your giftedness. </b></div>
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That dream or vision or career goal gives you hope. </div>
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And you need hope because whatever you’re doing to “wait tables” may not be the best use of your giftedness. But that’s okay, because you know that your situation is only temporary. You’re going somewhere. You’re not stuck. Your current circumstances are just a stepping stone, just a day job. You’re not married to it. It’s like a date with someone you met on-line. You don’t approach it with the expectation that things have to get serious. It’s just lunch.</div>
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Which is a nice segue to people who have no dream or vision or career goal. . .</div>
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<b>Some People Wait Tables Because They’ve Settled</b></div>
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By far, this is the most common reason for waiting tables (or any other kind of work that someone can’t stand). However they ended up where they ended up, these are folks who have just settled. They’ve thrown up their hands and said, “Well, I guess this is as good as it gets for me. I looked around and couldn’t find anything better. So I’ll just hunker down here and do my job. Sigh! I guess that’s why they call it ‘work.’”</div>
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<span style="color: #323333;">In an </span><a href="http://www.billhendricks.net/2013/09/how-do-you-know-youre-in-right-job.html" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">earlier post</span></a><span style="color: #323333;"> I pointed out that </span>more than two-thirds of today’s workforce feel no personal stake in their jobs, according to Gallup. Fifty-two percent are just marking time, and 18 percent are actively “dis-engaged” and working counter-productively.</div>
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What accounts for that? I believe one big reason is that a lot of people have settled for jobs that don’t fit them very well. They’re doing work they can do but are not born to do. So their hearts aren’t in their work. It’s “just a job.”</div>
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If waiting tables is just a job, you’re likely going to hate being a waiter. And we’ve all experienced that kind of waiter.</div>
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That’s the waiter who doesn’t show up for five minutes after you sit down at the table. The one who is rude, or surly, or incompetent, or timid. Or conversely is over-the-top with too much canned energy and false enthusiasm. It’s the waitress who doesn’t keep the coffee hot. Who forgets to re-fill the glasses. Who gets the order all wrong. Who has “attitude” with the manager.<span style="color: #323333;"> Who g</span>rumbles that no one leaves a very big tip anymore.</div>
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Bad “waitstaff” can be found in every field and occupation, whether teaching, finance, sales, accounting, manufacturing, the military, government, or even (and perhaps especially) the funeral industry.</div>
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Thanks to the habit of “settling,” countless experiences in life prove to be most <span style="text-decoration: underline;">un</span>settling.</div>
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So how are you “waiting tables” right now? Remember, there are only three reasons why anyone waits tables. Only two of them are legitimate. The third is highly suspect.</div>
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<b><i><span style="color: magenta;">Question: </span></i></b>Can you think of someone who is truly gifted to the task in their work? Tell me about them. How can you tell they are doing what they were born to do?</div>
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<b>NEXT POST ON</b> <span style="color: #35a2f7; font-family: Syncopate;"><b>BillHendricks.net</b></span>: The Power and the Perils of Teams</div>
Bill Hendrickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04200824393602241927noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8233130999693277623.post-63766731579513426422013-12-14T09:39:00.000-06:002014-01-21T10:23:30.840-06:00The Boy Who Loved to Steal<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9dZX5-xcPkQpTD6GmyPFhmJbQjbK5qSJF9y3Ra6ZsHi4WHxpgP7Uc-4nxvpbYg-oi5jhzowW0bQf1BB_r6JOpq0OIo2MirstKKGe-5O5dSLnjhqli4XzPwn6CA-O7HpY-XnqJBj7oPh4S/s1600/Haitian+boy+jpeg.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9dZX5-xcPkQpTD6GmyPFhmJbQjbK5qSJF9y3Ra6ZsHi4WHxpgP7Uc-4nxvpbYg-oi5jhzowW0bQf1BB_r6JOpq0OIo2MirstKKGe-5O5dSLnjhqli4XzPwn6CA-O7HpY-XnqJBj7oPh4S/s1600/Haitian+boy+jpeg.jpg" height="266" width="400" /></a></div>
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No one likes a thief. Not even if the thief is a poor little orphan in Haiti. Well, this is the true story of a boy who could not stop stealing—and it’s a good thing he couldn’t!</div>
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My friend Jerrie Moffet, who’s been teaching first grade for thirty years, told me about a young orphan whom one of her colleagues encountered in the slums of Haiti. </div>
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You remember <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Haiti" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">Haiti</span></a>, right—the country where a magnitude-7.0 earthquake killed between 46,000 and 85,000 in 2010, leaving permanent misery for a population of already impoverished people (many of them descended from slaves) to fend for themselves? Life in Haiti has been a battle for survival since even before Christopher Columbus set foot on the island in 1492. </div>
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Today, 57.3 percent of Haitians live in extreme poverty. As a result, more than 225,000 children have been sent by their parents to work as <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Restavec" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">“restavecs”</span></a> (unpaid household servants) because they cannot afford to support them.<br />
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For those who have no parents--well, who wouldn't be reduced to theft growing up in conditions like that?</div>
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<b>A Born Thief?</b></div>
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This particular little boy began stealing even before he was old enough to start school. He stole radios, cell phones, calculators—any sort of electronic gadget he could find. Needless to say, he became the bane of his village.</div>
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Each time he was found out, he was warned, threatened, punished, corrected. All to no avail. Like a seeming kleptomaniac, he returned again and again to the crime of theft. Nothing seemed to make a difference for this incorrigible little boy.</div>
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Nothing, that is, until someone took the trouble to find out why he was stealing. Was it to sell the goods for food? No. Was it to fence the heists for drug money? No. Was he being forced to steal by an adult? No.</div>
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<span style="color: #42a5f1;"><b>This little boy kept stealing because he wanted to understand the equipment!</b></span> He was fascinated by how the various electronic devices worked. He couldn’t read. He wasn’t old enough to take classes in electrical engineering. He had no access to YouTube or other on-line sources of information. His only means of satisfying his curiosity was to get hold of a device and tear it apart to find out what made it tick.</div>
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Finding out that what makes things tick was something this boy was exceptionally accomplished at. It was his <b><a href="https://thegiftednesscenter.squarespace.com/what-is-giftedness2" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">giftedness</span></a></b>.</div>
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When the boy’s precocious behavior came to light, someone had the bright idea to encourage him in learning as much as he could about consumer electronics instead of punishing him for it. Soon he developed a thriving cottage industry fixing broken gadgets for his neighbors and people living in the surrounding communities. </div>
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In short, a thief turned into an entrepreneur!</div>
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No one likes a thief. And I certainly don’t condone stealing. But one thing is clear: human giftedness is present from a very early age, and neither the disadvantages of poverty nor the active attempts of adults to “correct” a child’s behavior will have the slightest effect on changing it. At best, all those external influences serve to do is to shame the gift and drive it underground or turn it to the dark side.</div>
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The better path is to try and recognize, acknowledge, celebrate, and honor a child’s giftedness. For therein lie the seeds of a person’s true greatness.</div>
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<b><i><span style="color: purple;">Question: </span></i></b>Have you seen examples of how childhood behavior that seemed anti-social was actually an honest expression of innate giftedness—whether in yourself as a child, or in others?</div>
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<b>NEXT POST ON</b> <span style="color: #35a2f7; font-family: Syncopate;"><b>BillHendricks.net</b></span>: What’s Wrong With Waiting Tables?</div>
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Bill Hendrickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04200824393602241927noreply@blogger.com5